Always a Woman
by amber2011
Summary: SUMMARY: Ryder and Unique are married with two kids and living in a quiet suburban town; they're leading a happy life until his mother resurfaces and old wounds are opened.
1. Chapter 1

**_SUMMARY: _**Ryder and Unique are married with two kids and living in a quiet suburban town; they're leading a happy life until his mother resurfaces and old wounds are opened.

**_RATING: _**Mature (mild cursing, sexual innuendos)

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: ** _This is an AU story and my first time writing for this pairing. Also, I don't follow Glee much anymore, so the character traits may be OOC. Thanks for reading!

* * *

**_PART ONE_**

Unique woke up to the sound of Ryder snoring softly in her ear, his arm wrapped around her waist. The house was quiet except for the meadow larks chirping outside of their bedroom window. She reached over and picked up her wedding band on the night stand, and slipped it onto her finger. Ryder snuggled closer to her, his hand roaming over her torso and then settling on her breasts, he squeezed them gently as he talked in his sleep.

"Lovebug…"

She smiled. That was his private nickname for her. Unique felt a heat rising within her, but she fought the urge to lie in bed all day making love. They had a busy day ahead of them. She held his hand and pressed it against her heart. For a few moments, she enjoyed the tranquil Saturday morning bliss, but then she heard a gentle knock on their bedroom door.

"Mommy, Daddy, are you awake?" It was their 5 year old daughter Jasmine.

Unique disengaged herself from Ryder's arms and sat up. Her green silk scarf slid off her head and she quickly adjusted it. Ryder always said she looked like a gypsy with her head scarf.

"Come on in, baby."

The door opened and Jasmine walked in carrying a tray with two bowls of cereal. Her wild, curly hair was all over her head in an untamed mane of glory. She wore a purple nightgown covered in glittery stars.

"I made you and Daddy breakfast," she said smiling at her mother, as she walked over to the bed.

Before Unique could tell her to be careful, Jasmine plopped the tray on her lap.

"I didn't put in any milk. Because it hurts your tummy."

Unique laughed and Ryder finally woke up. Rising in the bed, he smiled at his wife and daughter. He kissed Unique on the cheek. Jasmine climbed onto the bed and settled herself on his lap.

"Morning, Daddy, I made breakfast," she said and pointed to the overflowing bowls of dry Cheerios. Ryder took a small handful and put them in his mouth.

"Mmm," he said as he chewed, "This is the best breakfast ever."

Jasmine shook her head, her dark eyes laced with disapproval.

"You shouldn't chew with your mouth full."

"I think you mean you shouldn't _talk_ with your mouth full, but that's close enough, baby doll," Unique said and took a handful of cereal too.

Ryder only chuckled and continued munching on the cereal. Suddenly, the loud wailing of their 6 month old son, Ryder Jr. or RJ as they called him, pierced through the peaceful stillness.

"You better go feed your son," Ryder said, "Sounds like he's starving."

"Oh, so now he's my son?"

"Yeah when he's crying like that, he is."

Unique playfully punched his arm.

"I don't know why I put up with you."

Ryder smiled and kissed her lips.

"Cause you love me, can't get enough of me, and I'm yours forever…."

As Jasmine thrust her small hand into the bowl of Cheerios, and put some in her mouth, she said, "You gave Mommy cooties."

"That's not all I give Mommy," Ryder said and grinned, raising his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

Unique got out of bed and slipped on her fluffy pink robe.

"Cool it boy, I'll be back in a minute."

** ooo**

RJ was sitting up in his crib with tears running down his pecan brown cheeks; his big hazel eyes gazed up at her. He wore a light blue onesie with a picture of Winnie the Pooh on the front. Unique reached down and picked him up.

"Sweetie pie, don't fret, Mommy's here."

She patted his back, and he calmed down, holding him close to her heart she began to sing:

_Hush little baby don't say a word_

_Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird_

_And if that mockingbird don't sing_

_Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring…_

She looked up and saw Jasmine and Ryder standing in the doorway, holding the bowls of cereal. His plaid pajama bottoms hung low on his hips; he was shirtless and Unique took a moment to admire his well defined chest and abs. Her husband's eyes were filled with love for her.

"Have I told you that you're the most beautiful woman I know inside and out?"

"Of course you have, but as marvelous as Unique is, it always bears repeating," she said, smiling at him, "Come on, let's go downstairs and finish breakfast, while I feed RJ. We have to get a move on. Jasmine has dance class and karate today; we have a lunch date with your mother, and grocery shopping, and RJ's check up with the pediatrician."

Ryder held up his hand.

"Whoa, wait a minute."

"What's wrong?"

"Lunch with my mother? Since when?"

Unique had hoped she could slip in the lunch without his noticing it too much, among all the other things they had to do. Foolish thinking, yes, but she still hoped anyway. She shifted RJ to her other shoulder and continued patting his back.

"Your mother wants to have lunch with us. I said yes."

"You mean the same mother that said if I wanted to marry a freak that I was no longer her son?"

Unique glanced at Jasmine.

"Baby doll, go downstairs. Daddy and Mommy will be there in a few minutes, ok?"

Jasmine nodded and left her parents alone. Unique walked over to Ryder and kissed his cheek.

"I didn't want to say this in front of Jasmine. But don't talk about your mother like that. Yes, what she said was hurtful, but people do change, and I think that she has. Anyway, she's always sending stuff for the kids."

"I don't care how much stuff she sends. Remember how she treated us? How can you forgive her?"

RJ started crying again.

"I got to feed the baby," Unique said as she brushed past him and went downstairs, "We'll talk some more later."

**ooo**

As Ryder sat at the kitchen table watching Unique feed RJ his bottle of formula, and listening to Jasmine chatter about how she would be playing a pink fairy named Rosy in her upcoming dance recital, he couldn't help but be grateful for his family. The sunlight poured in from the windows, shining down on them, and everything felt cozy and right. Well, everything except for the fact that Unique decided to accept an olive branch from his mother.

"And I get to wear bright pink wings and help fight the sour grapes pixies," Jasmine said, tugging on Ryder's arm, "Daddy, are you listening?"

He looked down at her and patted her curly head.

"Yes, Daddy's listening."

Jasmine pouted and took a sip of orange juice from her pink Rapunzel cup .

"No you're not. You keep staring at Mommy."

"Jasmine Alicia Lynn, watch your tone," Unique said, "Your father has a lot on his mind. Now it's time for you to get dressed and brush your teeth. Your dance class starts in an hour."

Jasmine finished her juice and hurried out of the kitchen. Unique looked at Ryder.

"Well?"

Ryder got up from the table and went to the counter to get a cup a coffee. He poured the hot, brown liquid into his favorite blue polka dot mug, the rich aroma of hazelnuts filled his nostrils. He opened the fridge and took out the French vanilla creamer, and when he closed the door, one of his student's pictures fell off the fridge.

"We need more magnets," he said somewhat absently as he placed the picture of purple trees and yellow unicorns back on the door. He taught special education at Braebrook Elementary School. For his birthday, each student drew him a picture. He loved his work since he understood what it was like to have a learning disability. He and Unique enjoyed living in Braebrook, a quiet suburban town about 30 minutes away from Cincinnati. She said she could get her "June Cleaver" mojo in a town like this.

He sat back down and sighed.

"Thanks for making hazelnut. I know you don't really like it."

Unique rubbed circles on RJ's back, and he let out a little belch.

"Good boy," she whispered, then she said to Ryder:

"I know you don't want to thank me for coffee. So say what's on your mind."

Ryder stirred cream and sugar into his coffee, and felt his wife's eyes on him. This woman knew him inside and out, so how could she think he would be ok with having lunch with his mother, after she caused them both so much pain?

"Unique, why'd you do it? Accept that invitation, trying to mend fences? She treated you like dirt. How can you forget that? I certainly can't. Besides, what is she in town for anyway?"

"She had some real estate business to tend to."

Ryder took a sip of coffee.

"She probably sold the apartment complex."

Unique shrugged.

"I don't know. I didn't ask her," she paused as she wiped the spit-up from RJ's mouth and said, "Your mother hurt me a lot. I don't deny that. Sometimes her voice reminded me of those girls who chased me afterschool and –"

Unique's eyes filled with tears. Ryder got up and sat next to her, putting his arm around her, he hugged her to his side.

"I wish I had been there to protect you from that."

"I know you do. I was so scared. But those girls were just acting out and when I look back at the incident, I know they were probably in just as much pain as I was. I can't hold anger in my heart. It doesn't help me grow, and baby, you know I'm all about growth and moving forward. Being fabulous means you can dust the dirt off your feet and keep going, and that's what I've been doing. Yes, I've been beaten, but look at me now, look at us, and what we got – two beautiful children, a nice house, and jobs we love, your mother was wrong for how she treated us, but let's at least give her a chance. It's been 10 years."

Ryder kissed her.

"I love you. But I can't forgive so easily. She wouldn't even shake your hand. She refused to come to the wedding. She said you weren't a real -."

Unique pressed her hand to his lips.

"Sweetheart, don't say it. I know what she said. It's not the first time somebody ignorant tried to come along and define me. I'm proud of who I am."

Ryder kissed her fingertips as she removed her hand.

"I'm proud of you too and I'm proud that you're my wife and mother of my children. I just don't have it in me to forgive. I'm sorry."

"Don't you think Jasmine and RJ should know their grandmother?"

"Not when she's a close-minded, judgmental witch, who turned her back on her son and looked down on the choices he made."

"Ryder -"

"It's true and you know it."

"Do I have to remind you of our high school days?"

Ryder took RJ from her arms and held him close, kissing the top of his head. Unique rarely brought up McKinley and for good reason, he had been a jerk in the beginning, refusing to acknowledge who she really was.

"I thought we were past that."

She leaned over and kissed him.

"We are. But what if we closed ourselves off to each other because of those mistakes? We wouldn't have what we have now."

Ryder blew raspberry kisses onto RJ's chubby cheeks, causing the baby to laugh.

"That was different."

"How?"

"We were dumb kids who didn't know any better. My mother knew better she just wanted to control me. And she's always scoffed at what she didn't understand. She didn't understand you or our relationship, so she chose to be hurtful. Those expensive gifts don't get her off the hook for her behavior."

Unique reached for his hand and squeezed it.

"I think this lunch will be a fresh start for all of us. She's not getting any younger, and I think she has regrets. Please Ryder, after all is said and done, she's still your mother. And now that you're father has passed on, she's alone."

Ryder looked down at her dark brown hand holding onto to his pale one; it had been an interesting journey with Unique, and all of the hell they went through was worth it because they got each other in the end; he couldn't imagine being with anyone else. She never steered him wrong, so how could this be any different?

"So what time is our lunch date?" he asked.

Unique smiled and hugged him, and Ryder melted into her embrace.

**ooo**

After going to RJ's pediatrician appointment, and picking up Jasmine from her dance class, then stopping off at the bank and gas station, the family rushed to make it to their 2:00 lunch date with Ryder's mother at Clyde's Restaurant downtown. Unique made sure the kids looked photo-shoot ready. In the dance studio bathroom, she tamed Jasmine's curls with moisturizing curl cream, and put a lacy headband on her hair. Then she put on her frilly pink Easter dress and black patent leather shoes. She debated on whether or not she should wear the white gloves that came with the dress, but Jasmine said that the gloves made her hands itch, so they had to forgo that accessory. Unique rubbed extra aloe vera lotion onto Jasmine's copper brown skin to make sure she wasn't ashy. As a finishing touch, she sprayed Tinkerbelle perfume onto her daughter's wrists.

RJ looked adorable in his little navy blue sailor suit. Unique tried to get Ryder to change into a suit, but he flat-out refused, however she was able to persuade him to wear khaki slacks and a freshly ironed white Oxford shirt. As they pulled into Clyde's parking lot, Unique touched up her make-up and reapplied her red lipstick. Her shoulder length hair was in soft curls, and she wore a blue pastel Chanel suit that she got on sale at an outlet store. Ryder turned off the engine and looked at her.

"I feel like we're going to either a wedding or a funeral."

Unique laughed.

"Oh be quiet, there's nothing wrong with looking nice."

"I feel pretty!" Jasmine said from the back seat.

"Don't you think we're overdoing it a little?"

"No, Ryder, I don't. I want her to see that we're a beautiful family and that she's missing out. I want to prove –" Unique clutched the tube of lipstick and closed her eyes, trying hard not to cry. Ryder unbuckled her seatbelt and pulled her into his arms.

"Unique, there's nothing you have to prove to my mom. You're a wonderful wife and mother. Don't ever feel like you're not enough. You're more than enough. And by the way you look gorgeous."

Ryder always knew exactly what to say to calm her down.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too."

They hugged for a few minutes until she regained her composure. She took a final glance in the mirror, and when she was pleased with her reflection, they all got out of the minivan and made their way into the restaurant.

**ooo**

Ryder's mother was waiting for them at a table reserved in the upstairs section. Clyde's was a fancy restaurant, and the clientele was usually upper class people born with silver spoons in their mouths. Socialites and trust fund babies were regular patrons. The décor was old money, with heavy Persian rugs, crystal chandeliers and paintings of lacrosse and cricket games adorning the dark wooden walls. It reminded Unique of something out of The Great Gatsby minus the flappers and Charleston dancers. Jasmine's eyes grew wide as she looked around. She tugged on her father's sleeve.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Does this place have a playground?"

"No, baby."

Jasmine sighed and looked down at the carpet. Without a playground, Clyde's became dull. Unique smoothed down her hair.

"We can go to the park later this afternoon, besides, you can't play in your best dress."

They spotted Ryder's mother at the far end of the restaurant; she stood up and waved them over. She was a tall, regal, silver-haired woman wearing a sleeveless green silk dress and a string of pearls. Her skin was tanned, and Unique figured it was probably from lying on the beach in the Florida Keys where she currently lived. She had the same chin and dark eyes as Ryder. When they got to the table, she hugged them.

"Oh, it's so good to see you, thank you for coming."

She took RJ out of his baby carrier.

"Now aren't you scrumptious!"

RJ smiled and laughed.

"I think he likes me," Eleanor said.

Jasmine didn't want to go unnoticed so she said:

"He likes everybody."

Eleanor smiled down at her, lifting her chin, to look into her eyes.

"You must be Jasmine."

"Yes, that's me. And you're my Grandma?"

"Yes but, call me Eleanor, ok?"

Jasmine grinned.

"Ok."

Ryder and Unique stood there with frozen smiles on their faces. Eleanor urged them to take a seat.

"Go on, take a load off and order anything on the menu, it's my treat. I must say that you all look so lovely, did you come from church?"

Unique shifted in her chair.

"No, we just felt like dressing up."

"Well, that's nice."

The conversation was stilted and formal. They discussed safe topics like Eleanor's life in Florida, the latest Seven-Up series documentary, and the best time of year to plant tulips. Eleanor brought gifts for the kids. Jasmine got a pretty gold bracelet encrusted with tiny diamonds, and RJ got a blue Carebear, which he fell in love with immediately, and he clung to the stuffed toy for dear life. Jasmine was in awe of her gift. She held up her wrist so that the sunlight reflected off the diamonds making them sparkle.

"Look, Mommy, this is what a princess should wear."

Unique thought the gift was a bit much for a little girl, but even she had to admit that it was a lovely bracelet.

"You're right Jasmine. And being the princess that you are, it suits you," she then touched Eleanor's arm, "You didn't have to bring anything. You've given them so much already."

"It's a grandmother's job to spoil her grand kids."

Unique couldn't argue with that. She sipped her water and smiled a lot as did Ryder. They wanted this lunch date to be as drama-free as possible, especially for the children's sake. RJ basked in the attention that Eleanor gave him and Jasmine was enchanted by her too. Lunch was excellent. They had grilled salmon, steamed vegetables, and wild rice pilaf. The menu was too sophisticated for Jasmine's limited palate, so they ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and a side garden salad for her. Unique was so nervous that she barely ate anything.

"Are you dieting dear?" Eleanor asked her as the waiter cleared away the dishes and handed out the dessert menus.

"No I just had a really big breakfast. I don't diet." Unique said, "That salmon was delicious."

Jasmine scooted closer to Eleanor as if to share a secret.

"We had Cheerios. I made Mommy and Daddy breakfast."

"What a thoughtful thing to do," Eleanor said and then she turned to Unique, "There's nothing wrong with watching your figure."

Ryder took a sip of his iced tea.

"Her figure is fine."

Unique changed the subject.

"Are you getting dessert?" She asked his mother.

Eleanor bounced RJ on her knee, he laughed out loud while clutching his Carebear.

"No, I'll probably just have coffee or green tea. You know green tea is good for weight loss."

Ryder reached over and held Unique's hand squeezing it; that was his way of saying that he'll handle things.

"Mom, Unique is beautiful just as she is. Don't start."

Eleanor ran her hand through her silver hair, giving a nervous laugh.

"No need to get testy. All _women_ watch their weight. It's something we're born with."

Unique cleared her throat.

"Well, this _woman _is fine with her weight. So there's nothing to watch," she looked over and saw the waiter coming toward them, when he arrived at their table she said, "I'd like a strawberry tart with whipped cream on the side."

"As you wish, Madam, " he said with a slight bow of his head.

"Do you have chocolate ice cream?" Jasmine asked the waiter.

"Of course."

"Good, cause that's what I want."

Ryder got crème brulee. Eleanor ordered black coffee. Once the waiter was gone, she looked at Ryder and said:

"These children are just adorable. They almost look like they could be yours."

Ryder frowned.

"They are mine."

Eleanor smiled and patted his shoulder.

"Son, you know what I mean. Biologically. Since Unique can't –"

"That's enough, Mom."

Unique counted to ten because she didn't want to cause a scene or upset the kids. She put on a dazzling smile and said to Eleanor:

"Please don't talk about me as if I'm not here. I know what I am capable of and what I'm not. And I assure you, it doesn't make me any more or less than a woman."

Jasmine looked at her family, her eyes taking everything in. She grabbed Eleanor's hand, her little brown fingers intertwining with her grandmother's larger ones.

"Mommy and Daddy chose me and RJ. That makes us extra special."

Eleanor's eyes widened in surprise, and she glared at Ryder and Unique.

"I can't believe you told her."

Ryder stood up.

"I can't believe you have the nerve to not only insult my wife, but my family too. I don't know what you were planning on accomplishing today, if anything you should be apologizing for how you treated us. Do you even know why I agreed to come?"

Eleanor shook her head.

"No, I don't."

"Because my wife is an amazing woman who believes in forgiveness. She felt sorry for you; she wanted to welcome you into our family so you wouldn't be alone. And she believed that you changed, but you haven't. As for your little remarks about being a _woman_ and what it means, well, the way I see it, Unique is more of a woman than you'll ever be."

RJ started crying. The tension in the air was getting to him. Unique took him from Eleanor's arms.

"I think we should go."

Jasmine gave her grandmother a hug.

"Good-bye, Eleanor. Thank you for my present."

"Your welcome, dear, now take good care of it."

"I will."

Unique calmed RJ down and put him in his carrier. Ryder took Jasmine by the hand, and as they all were about to leave, the waiter came with their dessert and coffee. Eleanor straightened up in her chair, maintaining her regal demeanor.

"Could you please box all of this up? My guests have to be going."

The waiter nodded.

"Certainly, Madam." And then he was gone.

Unique handed the carrier to Ryder and reached down and gave Eleanor a brief hug.

"Thank you for inviting us to lunch. When you're ready to be a part of our lives without judgment, you know where to find us."

Eleanor grabbed her arm.

"Wait, please…"

"Mom, we have to go," Ryder said, "You had your chance."

"I want to talk to Unique alone."

"Eleanor, whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of my husband. We don't keep secrets."

Eleanor sighed.

"I have to fly back to Florida tonight and I have some business to take care of this afternoon, would it be alright if I stopped by your house on the way to the airport? It's important."

Ryder and Unique looked at each other. They had to be in agreement. Jasmine was busy entertaining RJ with her new bracelet, so she missed the exchange between her parents and grandmother. Ryder pulled Unique off to the side.

"I've had all I could stomach for one day. I don't know if I want her coming to the house. She hasn't changed."

"I know."

"Well?"

"I'm curious about what she has to say. It won't be for long since she has a flight to catch."

"True… alright, we can let her come by, but after that I'm done."

Unique kissed his cheek.

"Ok."

They approached the table again. Ryder wrapped his arm around Unique's waist.

"Mom, you can come by, but I'm warning you, we won't tolerate any bullshit."

Eleanor raised her eyebrows.

"Watch your language. This isn't a pool hall. I'll see you both around 8:30 is that alright?"

"Yes, that's fine."

With the children in tow, they finally left the restaurant.

**ooo**

The rest of the day went by in a blur for the Lynn family. After lunch at Clyde's, they went home, changed into sweats and t-shirts and spent a few hours at the park. Jasmine was disappointed that she couldn't wear her bracelet, but Ryder explained to her that she might lose it while she's swinging on the monkey bars. She was still upset, but she knew better than to make a fuss, and when they got to the park, the bracelet was all but forgotten once she saw her friends from dance class on the merry go round. When the kids were finished playing, they went to Super Fresh and got groceries for the upcoming week. RJ fussed in the cart until Unique had to go feed him in the minivan, while Ryder and Jasmine finished the grocery shopping. By the time they got home, they had just enough time to eat a quick dinner of pasta salad and grilled chicken breasts and then Unique took Jasmine to karate class while Ryder stayed home with RJ.

After he gave his son a bath using lavender body wash for infants, he put on his pajamas and rocked him to sleep as he sang This Old Man. When RJ's little body grew still, Ryder pressed a goodnight kiss to his cheek and then laid him in the crib. He switched on the Winnie the Pooh night light, and the room was flooded with a cheerful, orange glow. For a few minutes, Ryder stood over RJ's crib, watching him sleep. His son had issues with his lungs when he was a newborn, and even though his condition was taken care of with surgery and medication, Ryder always made sure he was breathing before leaving his room.

After he was certain that RJ was ok, he turned on the baby monitor, and went downstairs to have a beer and unwind. When he checked the clock on the microwave, he saw that it was 7:00. The day's events replayed themselves in his mind: his mother's rude remarks, the sparkling bracelet, Unique applying red lipstick in Clyde's parking lot… what a day it had been for all of them, and it wasn't even over.

He wandered into the living room, and turned on the TV, lowering the volume, so as to not wake up RJ. He stared at their wedding picture, which hung above the fireplace; Unique had been heavier then, though it didn't matter to him one way or the other, he loved how the ivory wedding dress clung to every dip and curve of her voluptuous body. He could wrap himself up in her curves forever. In the picture they held each other tight, cheesing for the photographer. Those weren't phony smiles they wore; they were truly in love and overjoyed to spend the rest of their lives together. It was a shame that some people couldn't see that or found it repulsive.

A few of their old high school chums attended the wedding: Jake and Marley were there with their twin boys; Finn and some woman whose name he couldn't recall, Sam and Mercedes… the story of how those two got back together amazed Ryder, and he was happy for them; they were married with three kids and lived in Nashville. He kept in touch with all of them, sending Christmas cards and exchanging Facebook messages, but that was his former life, and now he was more focused on his home and family. The front door opened and Unique walked in carrying Jasmine, who was fast asleep in her arms. Ryder jumped up and took their sleeping daughter from Unique.

"You go sit down and relax. I'll put her to bed."

Unique kissed him, leaving red lipstick on his mouth.

"Bless you. I'm beat. What time is it anyway?"

"It should be around 7:30."

"Hmm, do you think we should chill some wine for Eleanor?"

"No, she has to drive, and besides, I think she quit drinking."

"Oh, that's right. Well, make sure Jasmine brushes her teeth."

"I will."

Ryder trudged upstairs with Jasmine in his arms. After he coaxed her awake, and dealt with her crankiness, he was able to get her to bed all bathed with brushed teeth, and snuggled beneath her Strawberry Shortcake comforter. When he got downstairs, Unique was sprawled out on the couch, sipping a cup of tea, her eyes closed. The gray yoga pants she wore hugged her thick thighs, and her red T-shirt left little to the imagination regarding her generous breasts; Ryder wished his mother wasn't coming over, so he could go upstairs and make love to his wife. He pushed the thought aside when he heard the doorbell ring. Unique's eyes flew open, and she set the tea cup on the coffee table.

"Ryder, I need to change! Eleanor doesn't need to see me looking a hot mess."

Ryder chuckled and sat down beside her on the couch, gathering her in his arms, he said:

"You look fine, better than fine, pretty damn sexy I would say, and forget about impressing my mother, she showed her true colors already."

The doorbell rang again.

"I guess you better get that," Unique said as her husband kissed her, "She can't stay long."

Ryder stole another kiss from his wife and answered the door.

Eleanor stood on the doorstep holding a white box from Carvel's Bakery. She wore a peach trench coat and a white silk scarf tied around her neck. Handing the box to Ryder, she said, "I got these cupcakes for Jasmine, you said she had a sweet tooth," her voice trailed off, and she suddenly looked nervous, "May I come in?"

"Of course, Mom, and thanks for the cupcakes," Ryder said and stepped aside so she could come into the house.

"Did you want me to take your coat?"

"No, I'll keep it on."

Unique rose from the couch.

"Hi Eleanor, can I get you anything?"

"No, but thanks for asking," she said as she sat down on the couch, her eyes roaming about the room, "Nice place you have here."

"Thank you."

"Good neighborhood. I really love the rose bush out front in fact –"

"Mom, please," Ryder said as he shut the door and sat down across from them on the love seat, "You didn't come here to talk about the neighborhood or my wife's gardening skills now what do you have to tell us?"

Eleanor clasped her hands in front of her and took a deep breath.

"I've been researching transgender women on the internet."

"I'm glad you're educating yourself, but what does that have to do with anything?" Unique asked, trying hard to keep her voice neutral, "Your research must not have helped much judging from what you said this afternoon. If you had questions, you could've come to me instead of treating me like the antichrist."

Eleanor fiddled with the buttons on her trench coat, avoiding eye contact with Unique.

"I always believed that you weren't good enough for my son. I tried to wrap my head around what you were or how you were; I don't know. Ryder always struggled, and being with you added to that struggle. Especially all you went through in high school and even college. The beatings you endured after you two announced to God and everybody that you were in a relationship; Ryder got two cracked ribs…"

Unique held up her perfect French-manicured hand.

"Let's get this out of the way before I say anything else. First of all, I am a wonderful woman, questioning what I am is _rude_, secondly, Ryder and I have been happily married for a long time now, so I would hardly say we were struggling. And lastly, all that stuff happened a long time ago, ignorance comes and goes but awesomeness is a life time, which is why we're so good together. Those wounds have healed. Every night we kiss each other's scars because it shows us how far we've come."

Ryder got up from the loveseat and sat beside Unique, putting his arm around her.

"Mom, I've got a great life and a loving, caring woman. What part of that don't you see?"

Eleanor looked down at her hands.

"I just don't understand it, not completely, I wanted you with someone like Marley not someone born like this."

Ryder was about to let his mother have it, but Unique intervened.

"You mean someone born human? she said, "Someone with a heart, mind and soul, just like everybody else? I always knew my true self. My body betrayed me, but not my spirit, and everyday I kept going, and I'm still going, blessed to know that I found a man who loves me just as I am and accepted me. It's sad that you can't see beyond what _you think_ is right."

Unique leaned into her husband and he held her close. They had fought through many battles together and gained strength from each other's love and support. Once they joked that the old Bill Withers song Lean on Me should be their personal anthem. She didn't have to always be strong with Ryder; she could be vulnerable, so as they held each other, she let the tears fall, and he whispered how much he loved her as he wiped the tears away and kissed her damp cheeks. Ryder vowed he would never leave her hanging, and he never broke that promise.

"You're amazing, Unique."

She smiled and kissed him, and for a brief moment they were the only ones in the room, until Eleanor's genteel voice broke the spell.

"I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you both. I hope you can forgive me."

Ryder looked over at his mother.

"I don't know if I can. I think it's best that you keep your distance. You're my mother and I love you, but that doesn't mean we need to be a part of each other's lives. My family comes first."

"I'm not suggesting that it happen overnight. I just want… well I want to have a relationship with RJ and Jasmine. Their wonderful children."

Unique sniffed and dabbed her eyes with a tissue.

"I see how you love our kids, but I don't want you around them if you give them reason to wonder if they belong to me and Ryder. Those are our children – biological or not. If you give them any cause for doubt, I don't think having a relationship with them will work."

Eleanor nodded.

"I know and I'm sorry for what I said at lunch. I thought I had come to terms with the decisions that Ryder made. When I can't control something, I want to destroy it. While I don't know if I will ever be able to accept or understand everything, I see that you love each other and built a good life together."

"Without your money," Ryder said, "Don't think I've forgotten that either."

Unique looked at him, her face scrunched up in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"When I told her I wasn't breaking up with you in college, she disinherited me and cut off my tuition payments, as if that would stop me from being with you. It didn't."

"I thought you wanted to prove to your parents that you could make it on your own, and that's why you took those extra jobs and paid your way through school," Unique said.

Ryder picked up her hand and kissed it.

"I only said that because I didn't want you to break up with me. If you knew what really happened, you would've ended it because for some crazy reason, you used to believe that you held me back, when that was the furthest thing from the truth."

"Sweetheart, you mean you worked all those crappy jobs like cleaning toilets and frying burgers, just so we could stay together? I used to worry sick about how hard you worked."

Unique's mind drifted back to all those times she found Ryder slumped over his desk, drooling on his textbook because he was too tired to even go to bed. Then on top of that, he had to nurse her back to health, after she was attacked late one night when she was walking home from a gig. For awhile she could barely walk, and she depended on Ryder for everything, and no matter how tired he was or how late he worked, he always managed to be there to help her bathe and get dressed so she could make it to her classes.

"I had no idea. So much crap was going on then. I'm sorry that I put you –"

Ryder kissed her before she could say another word.

"Look at what we have now. I don't regret anything."

Eleanor looked at them, her eyes shiny with tears.

"I have something else to tell you."

"What is it, Mom?"

Eleanor hesitated and looked down at the floor; she raised her head and her dark eyes met their gaze, a few tears slipped down her bronzed cheeks.

"I'm dying."

**ooo**

Ryder wasn't sure he heard her correctly.

"What?"

"I'm dying. I have a rare form of bone cancer."

"I'm so sorry, Eleanor," Unique said.

"You know how you just said you have no regrets?" Eleanor asked Ryder, who sat there staring at his mother in disbelief, "Well I have so many regrets that I can't even count them all. I regret not being there for you when you needed me most, and not seeing you get married and become the man you are. I regret not telling you sooner about your father's health until it was too late. I regret trying to control your life instead of building one of my own, and for hurting Unique when all she ever did was love you. I'm sorry for it all, and that pain is worse than any cancer."

Ryder wasn't sure how it happened, but the three of them ended up crying and hugging on the couch; it was as if their emotional walls came crashing down and all that was left was their pain and anguish, flowing through their tears, released from their bodies for good. He clung to Unique, her love and warmth spreading through him, making it easier to let go and forgive. Despite his anger and resentment toward his mother, his heart broke, knowing her life was ending. Eleanor missed her flight and she had to stay in their guest room. Once she was settled in for the night, Unique and Ryder retired to their bedroom.

They got ready for bed in silence, changing into their pajamas and brushing their teeth. Unique carefully tied her green silk scarf on her head, becoming the "night gypsy" Ryder often joked about. He watched her as she stood in front the bathroom mirror and removed all traces of her make-up, washed her face, and applied her night cream. When she was finished, he pulled his woman into his arms and hugged her.

"You're so beautiful."

"You mean bare-faced like a before picture for a makeover?"

"Lovebug, you know what I mean. I love you without make up."

Unique laid her head on his shoulder.

"Would you rather I not wear any?"

"No, baby, I know it makes you happy. I just feel like I can really see you without any on, like, the world gets Unique when she's all made up and looking fabulous, but I get my Lovebug, when she's wearing a scarf and smelling like cold cream."

She kissed his bare shoulder.

"Coming from anyone else that would sound strange, but from you, Ryder Lynn, it makes perfect sense."

They stood there holding each other until both of them were too tired to stand, and stumbled into their bedroom, collapsing onto the huge brass bed.

"Lie on your stomach," Unique said.

He did as she asked, knowing what was coming next. He felt her soft hands running up and down his back, and then kneading the tension between his shoulder blades.

"Go on, Ryder, tell me."

Tears fell from his eyes and onto his pillow.

"I'm so scared. How are we going to deal with this?"

She worked magic on his muscles; he needed this release, her loving touch…"

The way we deal with everything else. With a lot of love. Jasmine and RJ are her chance to get something right. Let's give her that."

Her hands went deeper into the stress-tightened muscles in the middle of his back.

"Do you think she should move in with us?"

Ryder hadn't thought of that. His mother wasn't the type to let anybody take care of her.

"I don't know. You know my mom, she's trying to change, but she likes having her way. I think you two would clash."

"Maybe. But I'm willing to compromise. I mean who does she have in Florida?"

"Her bridge club," Ryder said.

"That's my point."

Ryder nodded and closed his eyes.

"We'll talk about it with her and decide what to do."

"Ok. You know it might not be so bad with her living here. She loves Jasmine and RJ and they're quite taken with her."

"You don't think it's the gifts that won them over?"

"Well… it could be a little bit, but I don't think so. Jasmine doesn't just hug anybody."

Ryder laughed.

"True."

Unique worked her way downward and removed his boxer shorts, kneading his firm buttocks and continuing onto to his thighs and calves. Ryder bit his lip, enjoying the intensity of the massage. Then he heard her whisper:

"Ryder?"

"Yes?"

"I have to ask you something, and I need you to tell me the truth."

"What is it, Lovebug?"

She kissed his back, and gently turned him over. Looking into his eyes she said:

"Do you ever wish I could have babies? Or wonder what it would be like to be with a woman who could?"

Ryder sat up and pulled her into a hug.

"Where's this coming from?"

"I was thinking about what happened this afternoon and, well, I started to wonder. You knew I couldn't bear your children and you chose me anyway. I love myself, I really do, and I don't think that it makes me less, but …" her voice trailed off into the darkness. Ryder held her close.

"The only reason I ever wished that you could have kids was because I knew it was something you wanted so badly, and with all your other changes, that's the one thing you weren't able to get, and it hurt you. Sure, I wonder what it would be like for you to be pregnant, but I don't long for it, or have fantasies of other women who can. I love you. I believe that you were created just for me. I'm happy with the two munchkins we have, _I love them and you_ with everything that I am. So, no, baby, this is the life I wanted all along."

Unique kissed him.

"I love you so much. And each day it grows more."

He smiled into the kiss.

"Ditto."

Unique pulled away and laughed.

"Don't get all Ghost on me, boy, you better say it back."

Ryder rolled his eyes and tickled her stomach, causing her to giggle.

"I love you, Unique Lynn."

"I love you too. Now let's get some rest."

Ryder reached inside her nightgown, his fingers lightly touching her nipples.

"I was thinking maybe we could…"

Before he could finish his thought, her lips were on his.

* * *

**End Notes: **Thanks for reading. The epilogue will be the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

**_SUMMARY: _**Ryder and Unique face a lot of their old wounds and demons and try to let go of the past and move forward.

**_RATING: _**Mature. **_Please read with discretion. Sexual abuse is discussed and religion too._**(mild cursing, sexual situations, mature themes)

**_AUTHOR'S NOTE: _**Sorry for the wait and thanks for reading my story. A lot of ground is covered in this chapter. Please excuse any mistakes/errors.

* * *

**Chapter 2 **

**_Part 2_**

**_Six months later_****.**

"We should get this one, Daddy," Jasmine said, as she ran ahead of Ryder and stopped in front of a little Douglas fir tree, her breath coming out in white puffs, "Eleanor will like it and we can decorate it together.

Ryder looked down at the tree, wondering if his mother really wanted a Christmas tree in her room.

"Are you sure she said she wanted a tree, baby doll?"

Jasmine nodded, peering up at him with her dark brown eyes, her cheeks were red from the cold.

"Yes, she said wanted one."

Ryder zipped up Jasmine's metallic purple coat, she was forever running around with it unzipped, and this unnerved him to no end.

"You'll catch cold, Jazz."

Jasmine rolled her eyes and Ryder got a glimpse of the teenager she would become, hiding in her room, talking on the phone and thinking her parents were out to get her. Suddenly Ryder picked her up, twirling her around in the middle of Dell's Christmas Tree Farm, Jasmine laughed out loud, becoming his little girl again.

"I'm flying, Daddy!"

Ryder laughed as the rows of fir trees swirled around them, when he was out of breath, he stopped and put her down on the ground. He was a little dizzy so they sat down on a nearby bench. Instead of sitting beside him, Jasmine climbed onto his lap and laid her head on his shoulder. It was twilight and the sky was a dusky blue, soon it would be dark. Ryder fixed the purple and pink knit cap that was slightly askew on her head and kissed her cheek.

"Come on, let's go get Mr. Dell, he'll have to cut down the tree for us."

Jasmine jumped off his lap.

"I can't wait for Eleanor to see it!"

They walked to the barn at the entrance of the farm, greeting other families out shopping for Christmas trees, as they made their way through the maze of trees. It was a Braebrook tradition to buy your Christmas tree from Dell's. The barn was actually a store that sold decorations, knickknacks and holiday treats like gingerbread men and hot apple cider. Once they stepped inside, they were welcomed with the warmth of a heater and the smell of cinnamon and vanilla. Everything inside the store sparkled, from the twinkling Christmas stars that hung from the ceiling to the rotating white snowmen that played Frosty the Snowman every time you touched their carrot noses. Two were placed at the front of the store and two more were in the back corners.

Children loved these snowmen, but they gave Ryder a headache. Mr. Dell was sitting by the window peering out at his farm, a pipe in his mouth. He wore his usual red flannel shirt and overalls, his pale, bald, head shined in the light. Mrs. Dell was working the cash register, she was a petite woman with silver hair and clear blue eyes; she always wore a gold cross around her neck and thought Jasmine and RJ were the best children in the world. Mr. Dell smiled upon seeing them.

"Hey there Ryder and Miss Jasmine!" A plume of tobacco smoke escaped his lips as he spoke, "Good to see you."

Jasmine skipped over to him and gave him a hug.

"Guess what, Mr. Dell, we're getting Eleanor a special tree for her room. Then she won't be left out."

"Is that so? Well, that sounds right nice. She's lucky to have such a sweet granddaughter," he looked over at Ryder, "How's the Grand Dame doing these days?"

Mr. Dell always referred to Eleanor as the Grand Dame, though Ryder didn't know why. He figured it was because Eleanor had a certain air about her.

"She's hanging in there."

When she was finished checking out a customer, Mrs. Dell came over to them, giving both Ryder and Jasmine a hug.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite family in Braebrook."

"You say that about everyone," Mr. Dell said, teasing his wife.

She waved him off.

"Don't listen to old fuddy-duddy, where are Unique and RJ?"

"They're home sick with colds," Ryder said, thinking about how his wife and son were sequestered in their bedroom, watching Little Bear DVDs as the vaporizer released medicated steam into the air.

"Such a shame. I hope they get better soon," Mrs. Dell said shaking her head, "How's Eleanor?"

"Better," Ryder said as he put his arm around Jasmine, "We're getting her a tree for her room."

"Oh that's nice. Positive things like that lift your spirit."

After chatting with the Dells and drinking a few mugs of hot cider and eating Christmas cookies fresh from the oven, they took Mr. Dell to the Eleanor's tree, where he promptly cut it down and carried it to their SUV, strapping it to the roof. It began to snow, the tiny white flakes fluttered about in the wind.

"You folks be safe, and send Unique and RJ my love," Mr. Dell said once Ryder and Jasmine were inside the car, "Hope to see you again soon and tell the Grand Dame we're praying for her."

That small declaration brought tears to Ryder's eyes.

"Thanks, Mr. Dell."

**ooo**

Despite having eaten all those cookies, Jasmine said she was hungry once they were downtown, so Ryder parked the SUV and they walked to Polly's Diner on Main Street. Over gooey grilled cheese sandwiches made with homemade bread and bowls of spicy tomato soup, Jasmine chatted away about everything from the latest Disney movie to her new found love for the color orange, Ryder listened to his daughter's rambling as he stared out the window, watching the snow fall. When they were finished eating, they walked to the town square for the annual tree lighting ceremony. It was a big event and the local high school band along with the Braebrook church choir usually performed. Ryder was disappointed that Unique couldn't sing with the choir as she had in the years past, impressing the crowd with her solo of Silent Night.

As they walked through the snowy streets, Ryder observed that Christmas in Braebrook looked like something out of a child's storybook. The storefronts were decorated with festive, multi-colored lights, giant wreaths hung from the streetlamps, and Santa Claus passed out candy canes in front of First National Bank. It was really the local sheriff, but everyone pretended that the jolly white bearded man wasn't Sheriff Tanner when he gave candy canes to every boy and girl with a pleasant "Ho, Ho, Ho."

When they arrived to the town square, a crowd had begun to form, Ryder and Jasmine, pushed through the people to get closer to the front. Jasmine was excited, pulling her father along.

"Come on, Daddy, I want to get closer to the tree."

"Slow down, Jazz, the tree's not going anywhere."

When they got to the front they stopped and Jasmine squeezed his hand, as she looked up at the giant Christmas tree that stood in the middle of the town square. Everyone in the community decorated the tree.

"It's going to be so pretty once it's lit up."

Ryder smiled down at her, kissing the top of her head.

"Are you sure you're warm enough?"

Jasmine huffed a little.

"Daddy, I'm fine."

"Ok, ok, just checking Princess Jasmine."

She giggled and wrapped her arms around him, hugging his waist.

"You need to buy me a castle."

"That's what princes are for."

"You are my prince," she responded, somewhat confused.

"I'm your prince for now, but someday, you'll find another prince."

"I will?"

"Yep, that's right."

Jasmine pondered this for a moment. She didn't seem to like having another prince.

"I want you to stay my prince, ok?"

Ryder humored her.

"Sure thing."

Ryder and Jasmine tried to enjoy themselves despite Unique and RJ not being there, and it was nice to see everyone from the neighborhood; many people asked about Unique and RJ and it felt good that they were so concerned.

One of the things that Ryder loved about Braebrook was its strong sense of community and its diversity: all kinds of people and families resided there; it wasn't unusual to see two dads or two mommies or interracial couples like themselves. After they got married, when they searched for a place to raise a family, Unique was very clear that she wanted their children to be in a town that included everybody – something that Lima lacked, and they both knew how intolerant people could be. Thankfully, they hadn't experienced any of that in Braebrook, and made lots of friends.

When the town Christmas tree was lit, Jasmine laughed and clapped her hands, the white lights shining on her face, Ryder loved that she could still be amazed by things like that, her sense of wonder was very much in tact; he knew that in a matter of a few short years, Christmas tree lights and Santa Claus would be distant memories replaced with boys, make-up, and adolescent angst.

"Isn't it pretty, Daddy?" she smiled up at him, her face illuminated by the light.

"Yes, it is, sweetie."

Suddenly, she was sad.

"I wish Mommy and RJ were here. And Eleanor too." Since Eleanor moved in with them, she and Jasmine had grown close, but now that cancer ravaged her body, she was immobile and had to stay in the house, Unique took it upon herself to look after her, even though they hired an in-home care nurse.

"I know, me too."

They stayed for another hour and listened to the choir. The soloist who sang Silent Night wasn't nearly as good as Unique, and the performance was lack luster. Jasmine gave her honest assessment.

"Mommy sounds better."

Ryder laughed and squeezed her little hand.

"Come on let's walk around for a bit."

They circulated through the crowd, saying hello to everyone and chatting with people here and there, after awhile he and Jasmine were ready to leave. On the way home, they entertained themselves by singing along to the Christmas mix CD, Jasmine was tone deaf, but that never stopped her from singing, and her out of tune voice took some getting used to, but now Ryder loved it because you could hear how joyful she was when she sang. After belting out "This Christmas" by Donny Hathaway, an old school jam that Unique loved, Jasmine looked over at him and said:

"Daddy, are me and RJ still the best Christmas presents, you ever got?"

Ryder smiled.

"Yes, baby doll."

He and Unique had adopted both children at different times, yet for some inexplicable reason, the adoptions became official during the holidays. Jasmine's adoption was finalized on Christmas Day and RJ on Christmas Eve.

"So we're better than getting a million dollars?"

"That's right."

"Better than a trip to the moon?"

"Better than trip to the moon. Without a doubt, you and RJ will always be the best Christmas presents ever."

Jasmine smiled and touched his arm.

"Thank you, Daddy."

The next song to come on was "Go Tell It On the Mountain." Ryder was really missing Unique at this point, she adored that song, more than any other Christmas carol, and somehow it didn't seem right to listen to it without her. Jasmine must have felt the same way because she turned down the volume.

"Let's wait till we get home."

"Ok, but you know that Mommy can't sing until she gets better."

"I know. I just like to see her smile when she hears it."

Ryder nodded.

"Me too."

"What's Eleanor's favorite Christmas song?"

Ryder had no idea. His mother was never really that much into music. He then got a vague memory of her singing What Child Is This? when he was little boy as she got him dressed for the family Christmas party.

"I think it's What Child Is This," Ryder said as he switched lanes, "You can ask her when you get home."

Jasmine sighed and stared out the window.

"No, I can't."

"Why?"

"She's probably sleeping. She sleeps a lot more now."

Ryder felt a pain in his heart. No matter how much adults tried to shield their kids from tragic things like death and sadness they could always see the truth. Jasmine was witnessing Eleanor waste away and it killed him, but what could he do?

"I know and that's tough. You keep telling her you love her everyday, even when she's sleeping. That makes her happy."

"It does?"

"Yes. You and RJ keep her spirits up."

"Do you ever tell her you love her?"

Jasmine's question caught him off guard.

"No, Jasmine, and I should."

"I think you should too. If all of us tell her how much we love her, maybe that will make that cancer go away."

Ryder gripped the steering wheel and a few tears fell from his eyes.

"That's a good idea. All we can do is try."

**ooo**

When they got home, Unique was in the living room watching "It's A Wonderful Life, with RJ fast asleep in her arms. A fire burned in the fireplace, giving the room a warm glow. She had on her bright red bathrobe, her curly hair was pulled back in a ponytail. When she saw them walk through the door, she gave them a bright smile.

"Hey there, did you two have fun?"

Ryder sat down beside her and kissed her forehead.

"It was ok. We missed you and RJ. Everybody was asking about you. How are you feeling?"

"A lot better. We're hanging in there. RJ's fever is gone."

"That's good," Ryder said as he planted a kiss on the top of his son's head, "Jasmine convinced me to get a tree for Eleanor's room. It's a little one, we'll put it in her room tomorrow."

"I think that was a wonderful thing to do."

After taking off her coat and hat, Jasmine plopped down on the couch and snuggled up to Unique.

"I can't wait for Eleanor to see it. It wasn't as much fun without you and RJ. The town Christmas tree was pretty, but the woman who sang your song didn't sound good."

Unique threw back her head and laughed.

"Well, I'll be out there next year."

"So, I see you guys ventured out of the bedroom," Ryder said as he put his arm around her.

"Yes, I needed a change of scenery. It's nice to sit here near the fireplace and look at the tree."

The Lynn Family Christmas tree was quite beautiful. The colored lights that Unique wanted that year were blue and white. Before she got sick, the family spent an entire Saturday afternoon decorating the tree with silver tinsel and handmade and store bought ornaments. Ryder's favorite ornaments were the silver and gold musical notes because they reminded him of performing with Unique in the early days of Glee Club. Despite the unpleasant aftermath once the entire school knew of their relationship; those performances would always be the bright spot, aside from being with Unique that made high school tolerable. Jasmine liked the ballet slipper ornaments the best and insisted on putting them near the top of the tree, close to the glowing white star.

"Eleanor is still asleep, isn't she?" Jasmine asked, taking hold of Unique's hand.

"Yes, Janet left about 20 minutes ago and said she was out for the night."

Janet was the in-home care nurse they hired to look after Eleanor. Unique had been helping her a lot, but Ryder thought it was best to get a health care professional. Ryder didn't like Janet at first, she was somewhat catty and flirtatious, yet after awhile, everyone in the family grew to like the short, plump redhead with a distinct nasally voice and shrill laugh.

"I'm glad she's here to help," Ryder said.

Unique nodded.

"So am I, but I could've handled it."

"Let's not start that again with you teaching extra courses along with everything else you do, you were spreading yourself too thin."

"Ryder, please, I had it under control."

"Hmm."

"Oh, come on, I really did."

He kissed her temple.

"This is an argument that I'm choosing not to have," then he changed the subject, "What time are your parents getting here tomorrow?"

"Around 1:30."

Jasmine took off her snow boots and tucked her feet underneath her on the couch.

"I don't want them to come."

"Why baby doll?" Unique asked, twirling a lock of her daughter's curly hair around her finger.

"They always make you cry. And sometimes they call you that funny name, Cade."

"You mean Wade," Unique gently corrected her.

"I don't like that name. When they say it, it hurts your feelings."

"Don't worry about, Mommy, I'll be alright. Besides they won't be staying long, only a couple of hours, then they're going to Cincinnati to spend time with Aunt Tilly."

Jasmine brightened.

"I like Aunt Tilly. She has lots of crazy hats and bakes good cookies."

"Yeah, she's something else."

Ryder wasn't looking forward to Mr. and Mrs. Adams coming for the holidays either. Everything was so strained with them. Each word he said had to be carefully calculated, so they wouldn't be offended.

He suddenly felt his wife touch his cheek.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Just thinking about stuff."

"Honey, are you ok?"

"I'm good. Come on, all of us should go to bed."

He put out the fire, made sure the door was locked, and checked the alarm system before following Unique and the children upstairs.

**ooo**

Later that night as they lay in bed, Ryder rubbed Vicks vapor rub on Unique's chest.

"You still sound pretty congested," he said as he spread the strong smelling grease onto her smooth, brown, skin.

"I know, but I feel so much better."

When he was done, he wiped off his hands with a tissue, and buttoned up her nightgown; he noticed her hard nipples pressed against the red cotton.

"It's a shame to cover these," he said as he squeezed her breasts.

Unique laughed.

"Ryder, you are obsessed with my ta-tas, aren't you?"

"Hey, I'm a man with a hot wife, and that's not the only body part I'm obsessed with."

"Oh, really, pray tell, Mr. Lynn."

He hiked up her nightgown and reached between her thighs, cupping her mound and squeezing it, "I can't get enough of this. I love how you're always ready for me to take you, it shows me how much you love me."

"Now you got me all hot and bothered."

"Good."

He removed her nightgown and took off his boxers flinging them aside; he gazed down at her in the soft, yellow lamplight.

"Damn, you're gorgeous, don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise."

She reached for him, pulling him forward, allowing his hard, muscular body, to cover her softer, plush form. He kissed her breasts, flicking his tongue over her thick, sweet, nipples, slipping the nubs between his lips, as she ran her hands up and down his back, and when she gripped his buttocks and squeezed them, he moaned into her chest, and her legs opened wider.

"I need you," she whispered.

He nodded, kissing her full lips once more, as he eased himself inside her; she was tight, hot, and wet, and he hoped he lasted long enough.

She closed her eyes and arched her back, rising off the bed to meet his slow, steady, thrusting.

"Baby, you feel so…" she couldn't get her words out. Ryder gazed down at her and caressed her plump cheeks.

"I know. And you don't have to say it. I'm here with you, always here with you."

He watched her shake and quiver beneath him, clinging to his waist, urging him deeper inside her, she was having trouble letting go, and coming, and he helped her through it. He kissed and licked her neck, causing her to sigh and moan, pulling him closer.

"I love you so much," she said between gasps, but she was still on the edge and not tipping over. Meanwhile, Ryder maintained control as best as he could, speeding up the rhythm but it was hard, because being buried inside Unique was like sliding into warm velvet – he was on the brink of exploding, but he held it together, his baby needed to come first.

"Lovebug, open your eyes."

She opened her eyes and tears spilled out, trickling down her cheeks.

"Keep loving me," she whispered, "Don't ever stop."

Ryder began grinding his hips even faster than before.

"I once knew a girl who told me who she was and I didn't believe her."

"Ryder…"

He leaned forward and kissed her.

"I defined her by what I believed to be true, not what was in her heart."

Unique was letting go - her doubts falling away.

"Baby, please I –"

Sweat dripped from Ryder's face, as they moved together, becoming one with each other.

"But I fell in love with that girl when she showed me her truth. And she's beneath me now, and I could never stop loving her."

Unique cried as she came, shaking and sobbing. Ryder came soon after and they held each other close, both of them now smelling like Vick's vapor rub, come, and sweat.

It was wonderful.

He rocked her in his arms for a while. The two were silent for a long time until Unique spoke in a hoarse whisper.

"Remember our first time?"

Ryder smiled, kissing her lips.

"You were so scared."

"How could I not be?"

"Well, I was scared too."

She pulled away, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

"Really?"

"Of course."

"Why?"

"I was a 17 year old boy with no experience what so ever. I didn't want it to be awful for you. I was terrified."

Unique snuggled back into his arms.

"I didn't have these or this," she said gesturing to her breasts and the valley between her slick thighs that still seeped with Ryder's seed.

"So? You were beautiful. That changed nothing."

She smiled.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They kissed for a while until they became aroused and made love again. Unique positioned herself on top of him, sliding onto his hard manhood, which jutted out from between his legs, aching to be inside her once more. He grabbed her behind, slapping her abundant cheeks, as she bounced and gyrated on top of him, until they came together, trembling in each other's arms, completely spent.

**ooo**

The next morning Unique went to Eleanor's room to check on her. When she opened the door, she found Jasmine cuddled with her on the bed in her purple Princess Frog pajamas, holding a copy of Grimm's Fairytales. Eleanor was propped up with a dozen pillows, her face was thin and hollow, but her eyes were bright as she read aloud to Jasmine, her reading glasses perched on her tiny nose.

"Good morning, Unique. How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thank you. I'm about to start breakfast did you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Mommy, she's reading me Hansel and Gretel."

"That's nice, sweetie," Unique said and then turned to Eleanor, "Are you sure you're ok?"

"For now, but later, I'm going to need help after breakfast," she said, her cheeks turning pink from embarrassment.

Unique knew what she meant. Eleanor would need help bathing. Janet wasn't due to come in until 3:00, and that was a long time for her to wait. She never liked to ask for help for such a private thing, yet Unique thought nothing of it, and tried to put her mind at ease whenever she assisted her. When she moved in, they had a Safe Step Tub installed in the guest bathroom for her to use.

"Ok, after you eat breakfast, I'll help you. What would you like?"

"I'm not really hungry."

Jasmine looked up at Eleanor.

"You have to eat. It'll help you get better."

To humor her granddaughter, Eleanor said:

"Well in that case, I'll have a cup of green tea and a biscuit."

"Ok."

"Eleanor, let's get back to reading," Jasmine said.

"Don't tire out your grandmother, baby doll," Unique said as she was about to leave the room, "You know the rules."

"She's fine, Unique. I love spending time with Princess Jasmine."

Jasmine laughed.

"Of course you do, Queen Eleanor."

Unique wanted to take a picture of the two of them snuggled on the bed together, even with her declining health, Eleanor had a royal air about her, she wore monogrammed green flannel pajamas and a green satin scarf was tied on her head; her hair was gone, and she was losing more weight each day, yet her eyes remained hopeful and always lit up when she saw RJ and Jasmine.

"If he isn't too cranky, I'll bring up RJ for a visit after breakfast, alright Eleanor?"

"Good, I'm looking forward to seeing him. I hate that he's not feeling well."

"I know, but he's getting there. See you two in a bit."

Unique went downstairs and found Ryder attempting to give RJ a dose of baby Tylenol. RJ struggled in his father's arms. His blue plaid pajamas were hiking up his chubby legs as he tried to escape.

"Down!" RJ shouted.

"Oh, Lord, this child," Unique said shaking her head.

Now that RJ was almost a year old, he was walking and getting into everything, even when he was sick - it was maddening.

"RJ, stay still, you need to take your medicine," Ryder said, holding him firmly in his lap."

"Daddy, down!"

"Daddy will let you down _after_ you take your medicine." Ryder's voice was stern and somehow RJ understood that his father meant business. He huffed for a bit then he stayed still and took the purple medicine.

"Very good, RJ," Ryder said, kissing his forehead, "Now I'm going to put you in your playpen, he looked up at Unique and smiled.

"Morning, baby."

Even after 20 years together, Ryder's smile still made her heart flutter like a school girl's.

"Morning, I'm glad you got RJ under control."

RJ looked at his parents and laughed, his tantrum already forgotten. He clapped his hands.

"Pen, pen!"

"Just a typical morning at the Lynn house," Ryder said with a shrug as he rose from the chair and kissed her cheek, "How's my mom?"

"She's reading a story to Jasmine. You should go up and say hello."

"Oh, I will later, I don't want to barge in on their bonding time. Besides I need to get him situated."

Unique hated how he was avoiding his mother. He hardly spoke to her, and when he did, it was rushed like he was going somewhere else more important and couldn't be bothered.

"You won't be barging in. She'll be glad to see you."

Ryder didn't respond. Instead he walked into the living room and put RJ in his playpen; he picked up his blue Carebear from off the couch, and handed it to his son who was happy to have the stuffed bear back in his arms.

"Boo bear!"

Unique wrapped her arms around Ryder's waist, and relaxed against his bare chest, hugging him close.

"This isn't easy for any of us."

"I know I just - "

"She asks me about you all the time."

"Unique –"

"I tell her that your students are giving you a hard time, and that you're really busy."

"Well I am _busy."_

"Eleanor is right across the hall from us. She's not in Florida, she's here in this house."

"You're a hypocrite. It's not like you have the best relationship with your parents."

"I never said I did. But I haven't shut them completely out. She's dying Ryder; this is something you'll regret when it's too late."

"I can't do this right now. Just leave me alone." Ryder said, pulling away from her and disappearing upstairs.

RJ pointed to the stairs.

"Daddy go bye-bye?"

Unique sighed and picked him up.

"Yes, sweetie, Daddy go bye-bye."

**ooo**

Ryder didn't have breakfast. Instead he yelled from the front door that he was going for a run. Before Unique could respond, he was already gone, closing the door behind him. He was avoiding her, and it hurt. She managed to have a nice breakfast with the kids anyway; she made pancakes and bacon and aside from RJ spilling syrup on the floor and crying because Boo Bear couldn't have any pancakes, it was an uneventful meal. Afterwards, they sat with Eleanor, and visited with her until it was time for her bath. RJ fell asleep in Eleanor's arms, and Unique put him in his crib. She let Jasmine go downstairs to watch cartoons on the Disney Channel. Once the children were gone, she helped Eleanor undress and walked her into the bathroom and assisted her with getting into the safety tub; it had a seat and bars to cling to if needed. They repainted the bathroom with a color called Sea Shell Mauve because Unique thought it would remind Eleanor of the Florida beaches she loved so much.

Eleanor could wash herself, but had difficulty with her back, and sometimes the washcloth slipped from her wrinkled hands, because she was too weak to grip it for very long. Unique was careful, only intervening when necessary. Eleanor had always been an independent woman, and to be this helpless, was soul crushing for her. Finally after dropping the washcloth, one too many times, Eleanor gave up, and let it float on the water, her eyes welled with tears.

"Damn."

Unique picked up the washcloth and began to bathe her.

"So, my Jasmine, calls you Queen Eleanor?"

Eleanor gazed up at her, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Yes, it's a game we play. We rule a magic kingdom, and our powers come from our diamond bracelets."

Unique smiled and used gentle strokes to wash her back.

"My baby girl has quite an imagination."

"I love her so much. Both of those kids keep me going."

"I know, Unique said, while applying more soap to the washcloth, "Could you lift your arms a little?"

Eleanor obliged and Unique began to wash her arms.

"Unique?"

"Yes?"

"Do you ever think how strange all of this is? How our past has been less than… pleasant."

Unique shrugged.

"Sometimes. I think everything happens for a reason."

"What's the reason for all of this?"

"Learning to appreciate people more, accepting them, and being grateful."

"I understand… I just hate being helpless."

"I know you do."

She grabbed Unique's wrist.

"I'm so sorry for how I treated you. My son is right. You really are an amazing woman the way you take care of him and the kids. Ryder has always been somewhat aimless and you ground him."

"Eleanor, that's the past, and I forgive you."

She let go of Unique's wrist.

"This is a humbling experience for me."

Unique reached for her withered hand and held it.

"I'm glad you're here."

Eleanor smiled.

"I am too."

She continued bathing her, humming as she worked. When she reached for the shampoo, Eleanor smirked, shaking her head.

"Seems pointless. I'm bald as a bowling ball."

"You still have to care for your scalp," Unique said. "Lean your head back and close your eyes."

Unique poured a small amount of the strawberry scented shampoo onto Eleanor's head and massaged her scalp.

"That does feel good," Eleanor whispered.

After she rinsed her head with warm water, she drained the tub, dried her off, and dressed her in a fresh pair of floral print pajamas. As she was tying a purple scarf on her head, she got an idea.

"Eleanor, would you like a little lipstick?"

Eleanor gave her a shy nod and looked down.

"I miss being pretty."

"I'll be right back."

Unique went into her bedroom and grabbed her make-up bag from off the vanity table and hurried back to the guest bathroom, where Eleanor sat in front of the mirror, staring at her reflection. Unique rummaged around in her bag until she found the shade she was looking for: a soft coral. She carefully coated Eleanor's lips with the lipstick. Then she decided to give her the works.

"I'm going to make up your face."

Eleanor looked up at her, her expression almost wistful.

"I haven't worn a full face of make-up in over a year."

"Sounds to me like you're due for a Unique make over, don't you think?"

"I think you're right."

The next 20 minutes were spent making up Eleanor's face. Unique made sure it was subtle; Eleanor wasn't the type for anything "over the top." She was old school, like fine china and calling cards, the kind of woman who never wore white after Labor Day. When Unique finished, she stepped back and admired the results, the bit of blush and touch of eye shadow livened up her face, and her eyes seemed to sparkle.

"Well?" Unique asked, waiting for her reaction, "What do you think?"

Eleanor looked at her reflection. She touched her face, and a tear ran down her pink blushed cheek.

"I love it."

They hugged and Unique helped her walk to the bedroom and get back into bed.

"I've got some stuff to do before my parents arrive. Just holler if you need me."

Eleanor closed her eyes.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

Unique squeezed her hand and left the room.

**ooo**

Ryder ran around the track at the high school about two blocks from their house. Before they had the kids, sometimes he and Unique would come to the track and walk together. Since her knees never healed correctly after her attack in college, running was difficult for her, but she loved to walk. The memory of her pumping her fists as they made their way around the track left a pain in his heart. He knew he was wrong for shutting her out, but he just didn't want to deal with his mother, or watch her die, or listen to her endless apologies about everything… apologies that were meaningless in his opinion because a part of him held onto old wounds.

He ran until his legs burned, and on his last lap, he slowed down and eventually began walking. After he cooled down, he took his time walking home, mulling everything over in his mind. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt Unique and that was exactly what he was doing by shutting her out. By the time he got to the house, he was remorseful, and with a heavy sigh, he opened the front door. Upon entering, he heard Jasmine and Unique in the kitchen singing Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. He smelled bread baking and figured his wife had made yeast rolls to go with the lunch she was preparing for her parents. Instead of avoiding her, he walked into the kitchen and stood there watching them roll out cookie dough, flour smudged on their cheeks. Jasmine's hair was wild and uncombed and she looked adorable in her flannel pajamas which were stained with maple syrup; she always managed to spill syrup on herself whenever they had pancakes.

Then he gazed at his woman. Unique was beautiful in her gray sweatpants and oversized blue t-shirt, there was something about her that made him take pause and thank God she was in his life because even in the most mundane, domestic moments, her beauty shined through – both inside and out. Jasmine looked up from the table and ran over to him.

"Daddy, we're making your favorite sugar cookies," she said, then her nose crinkled up and she backed away, "You're stinky. Go upstairs and take a shower."

Ryder laughed at his daughter's honesty.

"Yeah, I'm pretty stinky," he said.

Unique glanced at him and looked away. She continued rolling out the dough.

"Did you have a nice run?"

"Pretty good."

Ryder was sweaty and funky and he didn't care. He walked over to his wife, and took her by the hand, pulling her away from the table. He held her face between his hands and stared at her for a moment before kissing her gently on the lips. She didn't resist and let the kiss linger for a bit before she pulled away. Ryder knew it would take more than a kiss to make everything better.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Unique went back to the table and picked up the rolling pin.

"Go on upstairs and take a shower; your funk is killing our cookies."

He heard a slight playfulness in her voice and he chuckled.

"Don't worry, I'm leaving."

**ooo**

When he got out of the shower and went into the bedroom to get dressed, he found Unique sitting on the bed, with her sweatpants rolled up, applying Ben-Gay to her knees.

"They're acting up again," she said glancing over at him, "It's this cold weather."

Ryder kneeled down before her, his towel slipping down his hips.

"Let me do that."

She didn't protest and handed him the tube of cream.

"Be my guest."

He began rubbing the cream into her swollen knees.

"You helped her again, didn't you?"

Unique nodded.

"Yes."

"We have Janet, you know. Lately, when you help her, your knees start bothering you."

"She wasn't due until 3:00."

"We'll schedule her earlier. I want this to stop."

"But Ryder, I –"

"No, sweetheart, I won't have you hurting like this. We hired a nurse for a reason. Does Eleanor know how this affects you?"

"She needed a bath."

Ryder wasn't sure how to respond to that, but his mind remained unchanged.

"She'll have to learn that you're not her personal handmaiden. You have a family. If you don't tell her, I'll do it for you."

"Why does this bother you so much?"

"Because I don't like seeing you in pain. And it's not your job to cater to her needs. That's what Janet is here for. You're my wife for Christ sake, it would be strange if it didn't bother me."

Unique ran her hands through his damp hair.

"Ok, baby, I'll stop."

He looked up at her and leaned over, giving her a kiss.

"Thank you."

He then concentrated on his task, using a slow circular motion as he applied the cream to her knees. Unique sat there and watched him. Ryder needed to take care of her; and she let him. That's how their marriage worked. When he was finished, he put the cap back on the tube of cream and kissed her knees before pulling down her sweatpants. He stood up, adjusting his towel before he sat down beside her on the bed and wrapped his arm around her.

"You smell a lot better now," Unique said.

Ryder rolled his eyes and kissed her cheek.

"I'm glad I get your olfactory stamp of approval."

Unique laid her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you for taking care of me."

"You don't have to thank –"

"Yes, I do. I love you and I appreciate you. You need to hear it."

"It is nice to hear. Sometimes I think I come off as old fashioned."

Unique put her arm around his waist.

"I like old fashioned. You know that."

"Yeah, I guess we're both kind of traditional."

They just sat there holding each other and Ryder began to sing.

"Like a knight in shining armor, from a long time ago…"

Unique sang the next line, her voice low and soft, her breath tickling his ear.

"Just in time I will save the day. Take you to my castle far away."

Ryder smiled, hugging her close.

"Thanks for indulging me. I'm sorry about what happened earlier."

Unique was silent for a few moments then she said:

"Why have you been shutting me out? Baby, we've told each other things that _nobody_ else knows, we've always been open with each other, so why the change?"

"It's hard for me to love Eleanor," Ryder said. The words caught in his throat. It felt strange to say them out loud. Unique pulled away a little to look into his eyes.

"Some people you have to learn to love."

"I shouldn't have to learn to love my own mother. I know she's sorry, but now she wants me to act like we're going back to a loving relationship and it was never like that."

"Then don't. Start a new relationship. So maybe you'll never be close. Create something that's right for the two of you."

"What if that doesn't work?"

She stroked his face.

"Learn how to say good-bye and be grateful for any good you can find in each other. I'm not saying she was mother of the year – "

Ryder interrupted her.

"She was never proud of me. Nothing I did was ever good enough. I never had the right friends, the right clothes, the right anything. She controlled every aspect of my life. It was too much."

"Baby, she's proud of you now and she's told me so. And she regrets everything she's done."

Ryder hugged Unique closer to him

"She didn't believe me, Unique."

"About what?"

He stroked her face.

"We always stand by each other, right?"

Unique nodded, and Ryder knew from her confused expression that she was trying to figure out what he was trying to say.

"Of course we do."

"Is Eleanor awake?"

"I don't know. Ryder, what didn't she believe you about?"

He kissed her and stood up, pulling her with him.

"I need you."

Ryder saw fear in her eyes and then a flash of concern. She held his hand.

"You have me."

He grabbed his bathrobe that was thrown across the bed and slipped it on.

"Sometimes you tell a story to make the truth better and that's what I've been doing. I want it to stop."

He took Unique by the hand and led her across the hall to Eleanor's room. He knocked first and upon hearing his mother say, "Come in," he opened the door to her room.

She was lying in bed reading a magazine; she looked up at him and smiled.

"Hi, son."

He stared at her.

"You look different."

"I hope you like it. Unique did it for me."

He glanced at Unique, who stood there quietly, and Ryder could tell she was sizing up the situation, wondering what was happening.

"It's nice," he said.

"Thank you, this is a surprise I –"

"Yeah, I know… do you mind if I sit down?"

Eleanor sat up, peering at him through her reading glasses.

"Are you ok?"

Ryder dragged a fold up chair from the corner of the room and sat down, while Unique sat beside him in the rocking chair next to the bed.

"We got you a Christmas tree for your room."

Eleanor clapped her hands in delight.

"That's wonderful. Jasmine said something about a surprise."

"It was her idea."

"Hmm, well that sounds like her."

Ryder scooted his chair closer to the bed. He reached for his mother's hand and held it.

"I love the relationship that you have with Jasmine and RJ and your constant praise of Unique…" he paused and gazed at her, Unique made her look like the old Eleanor, the one who liked to control everything, then memories flooded back in his mind, rose perfume, a string of pearls… he snatched his hand back and said, "I can't talk to you when you look like this. Wipe that make-up off."

"But you just said –"

"Mom, I know what I said, just do it. I'm not sparing you any longer. I want to see the woman who changed. Not the one you used to be."

Unique squeezed his shoulder.

"Ryder, please what's going on?"

"Stay beside me. Whatever happens, I want you beside me."

And Unique, being the loving woman she was, held his hand.

"I'm not letting go."

Eleanor picked up the package of moist wipes, which she kept on the nightstand on the opposite side of the bed. She took out two wipes and cleaned her face until all that was left was her bare skin.

"That's better," Ryder said.

"What is it that you want to talk about?"

"You love Jasmine and RJ, right?"

"Of course I do."

Ryder held her hand again.

"If they ever came to you and said someone was hurting them. Would you believe them?"

Eleanor looked away from Ryder's intense gaze.

"Yes."

"Look at me, Mom."

She turned her head and faced him.

"Yes I would believe them."

He gripped her hand.

"That's all I ever wanted from you – to believe me. I told you Aunt Sonya was touching me and you said I was making it up to get attention."

Unique gasped and squeezed his hand.

"Baby –"

He looked over his shoulder, and her eyes were filled with tears, shaking her head she said:

"I thought Aunt Sonya went to jail for what she did."

"She did but that was after –"

"After I found them in his bedroom," Eleanor said interrupting him.

Tears slid down Unique's cheeks.

"My God, I can't…" she turned and looked at Ryder, "You never said anything about this."

"I gave a better version of the truth," he said.

Eleanor continued telling the story; her eyes drifting off to an ugly place she buried in her mind.

"It was so cold that night. The house wasn't warm enough. I went to put an extra blanket on his bed. Sonya was wearing my yellow dress, she was too close to Ryder… she even smelled like me, like –

"Like roses," Ryder said, "Why didn't you believe me?"

"I pulled her off of you. I remember her screaming and you crying, running into the closet. I wanted to kill her. I think I almost did. So much blood, it was every where, I dug my nails into her face –"

"Why didn't you believe me?" Ryder asked again, "I came to you scared and alone and in pain. I was just a little boy…"

"I had my hands around her neck," Eleanor said, gripping the bedspread, "I squeezed it and her eyes closed. I just kept squeezing and squeezing –"

"You called me a spoiled child wanting attention. You said that Aunt Sonya loved me."

The entire time Ryder held her hand. He needed her touch despite the anger and pain. She wasn't that woman any more; he knew it, but his wounds opened again, and he wanted her to feel it too. She pulled him closer to her.

"When I opened the closet and found you there, I felt all of your pain, your eyes, your pretty eyes were haunting and sad and I hugged you and you pushed me away. There was too much blood. I thought if I took you away somewhere, things would be better."

Ryder shook his head.

"I know what happened that night. I was there. You still haven't answered my question. Why didn't you believe me? Why did it take having to see her violate me to actually do something? I suffered so much. She said we were playing a game, a secret game that made people happy. She pretended she was you and I was supposed to be Dad. I didn't understand what was going on or why she touched me like that. I was so scared. Do you know how awful and sick it was?"

Eleanor started crying.

"I'm so sorry, I –"

"Why? Just why, Mom? Why did you think I was lying? Was I that much of an asshole to want attention that bad?"

"Son, just let me –"

"Let you explain? Let you defend that fucked up sister of yours?"

"Ryder, I didn't believe you because Sonya is your mother!"

His heart stopped. He couldn't breathe.

"What?"

Eleanor leaned back against the pillows as tears streamed down her face.

"I never thought it would come to this. Never in a million years did I think I would ever have to tell you the truth, but here it is. Sonya is your mother."

Ryder felt Unique's hands running up and down his back. Her touch was soothing and loving. She had no words for him, but she was standing by him, and they would face this together the way they did everything else.

"I don't understand," Ryder said, "I don't –"

Eleanor touched his face, but he moved away, jerking his hand from her grasp. She wiped away her tears with a handkerchief she pulled out of her pocket, clearing her throat she said:

"Sonya was raped. We never knew who did it. After she had you, she said she couldn't raise you, so she gave you to me and your father and we adopted you. Over the years she sort of drifted, I sent her your picture when I could find her, and many times the letters came back because there was no one at that address. Then one night, after not seeing her for ten years, she showed up on our doorstep bloody and beaten. I don't know what she got into, but she needed a place to stay. She never spoke of her former life except to say that she got mixed up with bad people."

"Why did you let her stay knowing she was shady?" Ryder asked.

Eleanor hung her head.

"I thought I could help. She was my little sister. I felt I had to do something."

"You did something alright. You could've stopped the awful things she did to me if you believed me when I first came to you. Do you realize what your choice cost me?"

"I live with my horrible decision every day."

Ryder stood up.

"I live with it too and it hasn't been easy. If it hadn't been for Unique's love, I wouldn't have even tried to have a relationship, let alone a family. How come you never told me about Sonya?"

"Because we thought it was best."

"Best for whom? For you?"

Eleanor didn't respond she just sat there crying into her handkerchief. The last time Ryder saw his mother breakdown like that was at his father's funeral. He had the strange urge to comfort her, but he resisted. Eleanor leaned forward, attempting to get closer to him.

"I couldn't – I didn't even want to imagine that Sonya would do such a thing. If your father had been there –" Eleanor started to say, but Ryder cut her off.

"Don't bring Dad into this. You made that decision. You own it. Besides he came back."

Eleanor nodded.

"I'm sorry for the awful things I've done. I should've believed you and protected you and I failed. I failed and I'm sorry. But I will say this, I'll do all that I can to take away the pain… anything you want me to do, I will."

Ryder stared at her, taking in the lines on her face and her sunken cheeks; there wasn't much left of her.

"It doesn't matter. It's done isn't it? We can't change anything now."

Eleanor looked at him with red-rimmed eyes.

"The first time I held you, Sonya said that you looked like you could be my son. And that was all it took. I knew you were someone I would love for the rest of my life even though I didn't always make the best decisions."

Ryder walked to the door, with Unique beside him, her hand firmly clasped in his.

"Mom, I don't know how I feel right now. I can't be a loving son. I've done my duty letting you live here. Don't ask for anything more. Keep loving my wife and children instead."

Eleanor said nothing as they walked out of her room, closing the door behind them. When they got to their bedroom, Ryder hugged Unique close, crushing his body against hers, crying into her neck, and she cried with him, whispering prayers. After a while they lay on the bed, holding each other; Ryder was shaking. Unique held him tight, feeling the tremors in his body, his heart thumping against her chest.

"I love you, Ryder. I got you. You know I got you…"

Ryder continued to cry in her arms and they stayed like that until a knock came on the door.

"Mommy, Daddy?" It was Jasmine.

"Just a minute sweetheart," Ryder called out.

He and Unique quickly wiped their eyes.

"Lovebug, I want us to get out of here, take the kids somewhere."

"Ryder, do you think that's a good idea, you need to –"

"What I need is to be with my family - away from my mother. Please."

"Ok, I'll call my parents and tell them not to come."

He kissed her.

"Thank you."

Ryder opened the door and found Jasmine standing there looking up at him with concerned eyes.

"I heard crying. Are you and Mommy ok?"

"Yes, baby doll, we're fine," he reached down and picked her up bringing her into the room, "I want to say something to you."

Jasmine became worried.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Everything is fine. You didn't do anything wrong."

He sat down on the edge of the bed and Unique scooted closer to them, holding his hand. Ryder kissed Jasmine's forehead.

"Jazz, I want you to promise me and your mother something."

"What is it?" she asked as she leaned against him.

"If anybody ever hurts you, I don't care who it is. You tell us and we'll take care of you and protect you. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

Ryder hugged her tight and tears filled his eyes.

"We love you, baby doll, and we'll always be there for you, ok? Don't ever think you can't come to us."

"I promise," she touched his face and traced the track of his tears with her little fingers, "Daddy, why are you crying?"

Unique kissed her cheek.

"He's so thankful that he has a wonderful girl like you for a daughter and so am I."

Jasmine smiled.

"Oh, ok."

"Go see if RJ is awake," Unique said, "We're going somewhere."

"We are? What about Grandma and Grandpa?"

Ryder gave her another hug. She smelled like maple syrup and raw cookie dough and it made him smile.

"They'll come another time."

Jasmine didn't ask any more questions which surprised him. She hopped off his lap and skipped out of the room. He turned to Unique and pulled her into his arms, kissing her cheeks and then settling on her lips.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too. Are you sure you're up to going out?"

"I am. You and the kids give me peace."

"I'm sorry for pushing you like I did."

"You were only doing what you thought was best and I wasn't honest with you about how it all really happened. I should be apologizing to you."

"That's ok. But why didn't you tell me the truth? I always thought she believed you and kicked her out."

"The lie was easier. It made everything more bearable."

Unique nodded.

"I see. I'm so sorry you went through that. I don't know how a mother could abuse her own child."

Ryder caressed her face.

"Sonya carried me in her womb and that's it. She's not my mother. I won't ever claim her. Eleanor is my mother, always will be."

He laid back on the bed, taking Unique with him, his arms banded around her, and she rested her head on his chest, slipping her hand inside his bathrobe and stroking his bare skin.

"I want you to talk to Dr. Rhimes about this. She said you could come back anytime."

Ryder kissed the top of her head.

"I will. And could you come with me?"

"Of course. She's helped us a lot."

Dr. Rhimes was a therapist they found in Braebrook when they first moved there after college. Though he and Unique had always had a good relationship, they needed help coping with the ordeals they both suffered and issues from the past, especially Ryder with his sexual abuse.

"Yes, she has" Ryder said, holding her close. He couldn't stop holding her, the way she felt in his arms, all soft and warm and comforting. He would give his life for Unique and he knew she would do the same for him. After a while, Unique pulled away from his embrace.

"We need to get ready."

"Wait, baby, could you do something for me?"

"What is it?"

"I want to see **_you_** today."

Unique smiled and nodded.

"Ok, Mr. Lynn. I won't go all Diva."

She understood him. He needed her fresh faced.

Jasmine appeared in the doorway.

"RJ is awake," she said, "And he smells poopy."

Unique leaned over and kissed Ryder.

"Your son needs you."

Ryder laughed and went to change RJ's diaper. When he got to his son's room, RJ was standing up in his crib. He lifted up his arms for Ryder to pick him up.

"Da!"

"Hey, little man, did you have a good nap?"

"Stink," RJ said.

"That's right, son, you need your diaper changed."

He laid him out on the changing table and finished the unpleasant task as quickly as he could. RJ smiled at him and laughed.

"I'm glad to see you in a good mood," Ryder said as he re-snapped his onesie. He picked him up and hugged him to his heart.

"I love you and I'll always protect you," Ryder whispered.

RJ held onto him, grabbing at his robe.

"Boo."

"Yes, Daddy's robe is blue."

He carried him into the bedroom where Unique was combing out the snarls in Jasmine's hair. He sat down beside them. Unique stopped what she was doing and gazed at Ryder. Then she put her arm around him and laid her head on his shoulder, kissing RJ's cheek. Jasmine looked at her parents, she snuggled close to her father and gave him a hug.

"We're ok, Daddy."

Ryder held onto his family. Yes, they were ok.

**ooo**

Unique called her mother to cancel their lunch date for that afternoon. And as she expected, her mother was annoyed.

"We had gifts for the children."

"You can still bring them, just not today, something came up."

"Such as?"

"It's private."

"I see. Did you two have a fight?"

"No."

"It's really a shame. I wanted to see how much RJ and Jasmine have grown. We don't see them often."

"That's not my fault."

"I wasn't suggesting that it was."

"You were suggesting something."

"Don't be defensive."

"I was being honest. There's a difference."

Her mother sighed.

"When can we come?"

"I don't know. I'll get back to you."

"I guess your father and I will go straight to Aunt Tilly's."

"Mama, I have to go – "

"Wait."

"What is it?"

"Merry Christmas. God bless you."

Unique smiled. It was close to I love you but not quite.

"Merry Christmas."

Afterwards she called Janet and asked her to come before her scheduled shift. That went much smoother than her previous phone call and Janet was happy to get the extra hours. Unique showered and got dressed while Ryder helped the children get ready. She decided to wear a long, gray wool skirt, a bright red sweater and black riding boots. As Ryder requested, she wore little make-up, just some lipstick and blush. She curled her hair and sprayed it with oil sheen before fluffing it out around her head. Standing in front of the mirror, she smiled at herself because she looked damn good. Then her eyes clouded over, thinking of what Eleanor revealed earlier. She and her mother in law had developed a good relationship; now she was conflicted – what Eleanor did was in the past and she was obviously sorry, but Unique was devastated. That horrible night should never have happened. She picked up her purse off the bathroom counter and went Eleanor's room and knocked on the door.

"Eleanor?"

"Come on in," she said.

Unique stepped into the room.

"It's time for your pain medication."

"So it is."

Unique picked up the bottle of pills on the dresser and shook out two tablets into the lid. She went into the bathroom and poured a Dixie cup full of water and brought everything to Eleanor.

"Here you go."

Eleanor took the pills and swallowed them, drinking up the water.

"Janet will be here soon. We're going out."

"Oh."

"You have our cell phone numbers so…"

"I'll be fine."

Unique threw away the Dixie cup in the wastebasket next to the bed.

"I have to go."

"Unique."

"Yes?"

Eleanor paused and stared at her.

"Unique I – thank you."

"You're welcome."

Unique left, closing the door behind her and went to join the others downstairs.

**ooo**

They drove for hours. Unique had no idea where they were going, but she didn't question Ryder because he needed this escape and she figured he didn't know either. Once her Aunt Tilly remarked that she was too submissive with Ryder; Unique disagreed. She followed his lead as long as it wasn't foolish; she wasn't afraid to speak her mind, but for the most part she believed that he was head of the family and had no problem with that even if some women thought she set feminism back a hundred years with her attitude. It worked for them and that was all that mattered.

The family sang Christmas carols and played I Spy. Ryder drove along country roads, avoiding the main highway altogether, and they enjoyed the scenic route with its snow-covered fields and decorated farmhouses. After having lunch at the Chuck Wagon Restaurant near Cinncinati, they went to the Christmas Ranch, a village known for its Christmas light displays that danced in time to festive, holiday music. They drove through the animated forest where lights twinkled on tall blue and green Christmas trees and gingerbread houses with candy cane roofs, shined in the darkness. The tour was whimsical and fun, and Jasmine talked non-stop because there was so much to see in the forest: reindeer pulling sleighs filled with toys, twinkling white stars which floated in the air, and sugar plum fairies dressed in pink gowns, blinked in time to the Nut Cracker theme. Even RJ enjoyed the show and Unique could tell that Ryder was mesmerized too.

Every now and then he would reach over and squeeze her hand, whispering I love you, and she would kiss his hand and hold it to her heart. They browsed in the gift shop and bought cookies from the Santa Land bakery. Unique carried RJ in his Snugly strapped to the front of her torso, he wriggled about, content to be so close to his mother. Ryder had a possessive arm around Unique as he held Jasmine's hand. He never strayed far from his family, hovering near them the entire time. They ate a lasagna dinner in the Reindeer Café, and RJ fell asleep in his high chair, tomato sauce dripping from his chin. The wait staff wore red and green velvet elf costumes, pointy Dunce-like hats, and slippers on their feet with bells that jingled with each step. Jasmine liked their outfits because they matched the red and green plaid dress she was wearing. Their waiter, a guy named Jack, tried to flirt with Unique, when Ryder went to the bathroom.

"You're a fine looking woman," Jack said, licking his lips. He was a young black man with a muscular physique and a lot of bravado. His biceps almost busted through his velvet costume.

Unique rolled her eyes and gave a polite smile.

"I can't deny that, but I'm also a married woman."

Jack shrugged this off as a minor technicality.

"Don't bother me none. Besides I saw you checking me out."

Though Jack was very good looking, Unique hardly checked him out, a quick glance maybe, but that was a natural reflex. She laughed it off.

"Keep dreaming, young blood, now bring us the check."

"Oh, so it's like that huh? You think you too old for me?"

"No, but she's too married for you. Now if you want to be able to walk out of here in one piece, I suggest you quit hitting on my wife," Ryder said as he walked up to the table, his face flushed red, but his voice was cheerful and calm as if he were wishing Jack a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Jack backed down.

"Alright, dawg, no need to get violent. I'll get your check."

"Don't expect a tip," Ryder said.

Jack glared at him and walked away. Ryder picked up RJ from his high chair and handed him to Unique.

"What an asshole."

"He's a kid."

"A kid with no manners or boundaries."

"Daddy, you said a bad word," Jasmine said.

"I know, Jazz. I'm sorry. I lost my temper."

"He wasn't a nice man," Jasmine said and yawned, "Are we going home soon?"

"Yes we are," Unique said, "It's been a long day."

Out of the blue, Ryder leaned over and kissed Unique softly on the lips, cradling her face between his hands. When it was over, she was somewhat dazed.

"What was that for?"

"No reason. I just love you that's all."

Ryder had always been a romantic, but Unique suspected something else was behind his spontaneous display of affection. After they paid the check and got bundled up again to brave the winter cold, they walked out to the SUV and piled inside, buckling seatbelts and getting comfortable for their journey home. Jasmine and RJ dozed in the back seat. Unique and Ryder listened to a smooth jazz station and chatted about everything except Eleanor. When there was a lull in the conversation, Ryder looked over at Unique and said:

"Do you ever wish I was black?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah, I heard you, but I don't understand the question. Is this because of that waiter?"

Ryder hesitated before answering her.

"Sort of, well yes and no. I see a lot of black guys checking you out."

"I see a lot of white women checking you out. Do you wish I was white?"

"No, of course not, that's crazy."

"Then why would you think I would wish you were black like me? Be honest Ryder."

"Ok, I know we've been together for a long time but sometimes I get jealous, alright? I try not to."

Unique sighed.

"Baby, it's only natural to get jealous. I don't like it when women flirt with you, but what does race have to do with it?"

"Sometimes I wonder if you would've been safer with a black guy, I mean, like all the crap we went through wouldn't have happened if I was black, does that make sense?"

"No, it doesn't. And besides, we got harassed because people didn't understand about my being a transgender female. Look, I know race was part of it but a larger part was transphobia."

"I think it was equal parts."

"Fair enough. It may have been. But I never wanted you to be anyone other than who you are. Why do you think we've been together for so long? If I wanted a black dude, I wouldn't have married you. Do you think I'm just biding my time until a chocolate fantasy man comes my way?"

Ryder laughed out loud.

"Ok, ok, Lovebug, I'm sorry. I just… I get scared of losing you. And that guy was attractive. I saw you look at him."

Unique nodded.

"Yes, he was attractive, and Unique sneaked a peek, but it's not like I wanted to ride off into the sunset with him. Besides I saw you look at the Pathmark check out girl.

Ryder stopped at a red light.

"I've never looked at the Pathmark girl."

"Ryder…"

"Alright, maybe I sneaked a peek, like you said."

"You're a breast man, things like this happen."

Ryder continued driving down the dark, country road.

"But no matter how many sneak peeks I've taken. I only want you, Unique, that's never changed and never will change."

Unique reached over and squeezed his shoulder.

"Sometimes I wake up at night and I wonder if it's all a dream. Like a size zero swimsuit model will come in and take my place. Then I see how you look at me and how you love and cherish our family and I feel like an idiot."

"I'm not in the market for a swimsuit model."

"And I'm not in the market for a black knight, so I guess we'll be ok."

Ryder chuckled.

"Yeah, Mrs. Lynn, I guess we will be. You want to know why I kissed you back at the restaurant?"

"Why?"

"Because you do this thing with your eyes when I kiss you; I can't explain it, it's like they get glazed over and you breathe funny and your body changes, and I know how you feel about me; how you love me and it makes me feel less scared. When it happens, I just know you're my woman."

Unique was surprised at his confession.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I guess I can relate. When I get all dressed up and you stare at me and then you just hold me, I know you're mine. I feel it in my heart that we belong to each other."

They continued the drive in a comfortable silence. Unique stared out the window at the starry sky and thought of all the things she was grateful for: her marriage and family, her job, her health, her home… she closed her eyes and let her heart be filled with what mattered. When she opened them again, she saw a Traveler's Rest Baptist church come into view; it was a small white building with a nativity scene lit up out front on the lawn. The parking lot was almost full and she heard music. She suddenly had the urge to go inside.

"Ryder, pull over and let's go to church."

"Huh?"

"Oh, come on, let's be spontaneous."

"When I think spontaneous, I think of sex in the kitchen at 6:00 in the morning while the coffee is brewing, not stopping off at a random church."

Unique clasped her hands and nodded her head in agreement.

"That would be spontaneous too. And I promise we'll try that sometime, but now, I think we should go to church."

"What about the kids? They're asleep."

"I'm not asleep," Jasmine said from the back seat, "And RJ just woke up."

Ryder let out a long sigh.

"Alright, Mrs. Lynn. Let's go to church."

**ooo**

The church was packed but Ryder managed to find an empty pew in the very back. It was beautiful inside with stained glass windows depicting the scenes of Christ's birth and resurrection. The mahogany wood floors gleamed and a Christmas tree decorated with gold balls and white lights stood at the front of the church near the pulpit. The choir was dressed in red and gold robes and they sat behind the preacher, a short, round, bespectacled man with salt and pepper hair and olive skin. He smiled at them, waving his hand:

"Brothers and sisters, I see we have some new comers. Welcome to Traveler's Rest."

The congregation turned around to check out the new comers, Ryder felt self-conscious and he stood there rather awkwardly, not knowing what to say with all those eyes on them; Unique grabbed his hand, smiling at everyone.

"Hello," she said, "We're the Lynns. My name is Unique. This is my husband Ryder, and these are our children RJ and Jasmine. We saw your church and thought we would stop in."

"Very good. I'm Pastor Jenkins. Make yourselves at home. We were just about to sing our opening hymn."

Ryder felt better once they sat down and opened up the tattered hymn books and began singing Angels We Have Heard on High. He had to admit that it felt good singing with his family, though RJ just laughed and clapped his hands.

_Angels we have on heard high_

_Sweetly singing ore the plains_

_And the mountains in reply_

_Echoing their joyous strains _

_Gloria in excelsis Deo_

_Gloria in excelsis Deo _

Unique of course, sounded wonderful and it brought tears to his eyes, forget the Pathmark woman, he had the best woman by his side and he couldn't ask God for a better wife or mother. After they were finished singing the hymn, everyone sat down and Pastor Jenkins began his sermon. It was about good will toward men as expected but he also threw in forgiveness and showing mercy to those who have done you wrong. Pastor Jenkins had the voice of a natural orator; it was soothing with a low rumble, reminding Ryder of a distant storm.

"We can't move forward unless we let go of the past transgressions that others have inflicted upon us," he said looking out at the congregation, "You can't live freely when you're burdened with pain and sorrow of things that can't be changed. Folks, I'm gonna tell you all a little story. Now, I got quite a few years on me and I came up in a time when certain folks just didn't mix. My mama was a maid in the fifties and she worked for a powerful judge. One day when the lady of the house was gone, her husband raped my mother and she became pregnant with me. Nobody believed that she was raped. And even if someone did believe her, what could they do? There wasn't a soul in Mississippi that would take a black woman's word over a white judge. She lost her job and her own family turned their backs on her, calling her a whore, told her she should've known better than to be alone with that white man. She was homeless and penniless."

Pastor Jenkins paused for a moment and then continued with his story.

"She looked for work. Nobody hired her. Everyday she cursed the judge and his wife, cursed her family too. She kept thinking things would be better if they paid for how she suffered. She dreamed of burning down the judge's mansion and shaming her family. After awhile, she decided to do it. She went to the mansion late one night with a jug of gasoline and a bunch of matchbooks. There was no rhyme or reason to her plan. She was pouring gasoline on the front porch when the new maid came outside and caught her; she recognized my mama and told her to stop or she would go to jail. Mama didn't listen and dropped a lit match and soon the porch was in flames, and as she tried to run, she fell on the steps, and her dress caught fire. She was able to escape but she suffered severe burns on her arms legs and face. The fire didn't do much damage to the porch because the handyman and other help were able to put it out before it got too big. Luckily, the judge and his wife were out of the country and by the time they got back, the porch was repaired. But Mama is the one who suffered.

Pastor Jenkins wiped his forehead with a handkerchief and adjusted his glasses, he sighed and leaned forward on the lectern, his eyes peering into the faces of the congregation, who sat listening to his story completely spellbound by his words. He gave a little nod of his head and began to speak again.

"Mama left town once she got out of the hospital with no job or money. Things got so bad that she begged for food on street corners. Somebody told her about free meals at the church so she went. When she walked into that church, she collapsed on the floor and started crying and screaming and asking God, why this happened to her. The preacher's wife helped her off the ground, gave her some food and told my mother something that changed her life, she said, "Sister, you're in chains. It's time to break free. Don't be a slave to your enemies but a master of your freedom. Mama asked her how she could do that and she said: forgive. The preacher and his wife found her a place to stay in a rooming house and got her a job at the textile mill. She learned about forgiveness. Instead of burning houses, she prayed for love and an open heart and forgave those who hurt her. It wasn't easy and it took time but she was able to let go in the end. She met my father at a civil rights rally and they got married not long after I was born. She never thought anyone would want her with her scars and out of wedlock child, but he loved her anyway. He was a great man. I say all of this brothers and sisters because the pain she wanted to inflict on her family and her rapist only hurt her. She was the one engulfed in her flames of hatred and revenge. So this holiday season, forget about shiny gifts, parties, and mistletoe and even that fat guy in a red suit…"

A few of the church members laughed at that statement and even Pastor Jenkins chuckled a bit before continuing:

"Give one of the greatest gifts of all this Christmas and forgive all those wrong doers in your life and start again with an open heart. Now let us all join hands and –"

Ryder stood up, waving his hand. Pastor Jenkins saw him and nodded.

"Mr. Lynn do you have a question?"

"You make it sound so simple."

"No, brother, forgiveness is never simple. The journey my mama took was far from easy."

"What if the person doesn't deserve it? What if you tried and your heart won't let you?"

Ryder was crying. Unique stood up beside him and he gripped her hand. She wrapped her arm around him and held him close. Jasmine patted his arm.

"Daddy?"

"It's alright, Jazz," he said reassuring her, "Daddy just needs to cry."

Pastor Jenkins walked away from the lectern and went to Ryder in the last pew.

"Son, forgiveness doesn't excuse what the person did or absolve them of any guilt. It frees your soul."

Ryder looked at him, as the tears ran down his cheeks.

"I understand about your mother. I wanted revenge too. Sometimes I still do."

"But what stopped you?" Pastor Jenkins asked, "What made you think twice before inflicting pain?"

"This woman beside me, my beautiful wife" Ryder said, "Without her, I would've done some awful things."

Pastor Jenkins nodded and said:

"You're a fortunate man, Mr. Lynn, not everyone has someone so remarkable. But tell me something, are the wrongdoers in your life happy?"

The question took Ryder aback. He thought of Eleanor and Sonya and how their lives turned out.

"No, in fact, they're miserable."

"Then why should you suffer too? You can't undo the past. And let's say they were happy, does that mean you must stay prisoner to the pain? Brother, I can't tell you how to live your life, but holding onto anger and resentment won't let you enjoy your abundance like this beautiful family of yours."

A chorus of Amens erupted from the congregation.

"Preach!" a woman shouted from the third pew.

Pastor Jenkins put his hand on Ryder's shoulder.

"It was no accident or coincidence that you came to our church tonight."

"I know that's right," an elderly man in a gray suit said, "I do believe the Lord brought them here."

"That's true, Pastor Jenkins said acknowledging the old man's words before turning to Ryder again, "Brother, you needed this sermon to heal your spirit and I hope it does."

On impulse, Ryder gave Pastor Jenkins a hug, surprising them both, "Thank you," he whispered.

"You're welcome son, but I can't take credit, it was God's doing. At least that's what I believe. I wasn't even thinking about my mother's story of forgiveness until your family walked into my church."

Ryder thanked him again and they all sat down and Pastor Jenkins returned to the lectern and led the congregation in prayer. Jasmine got on her father's lap and he hugged her. She gazed up at him, her big brown eyes searching his for answers.

"Did the preacher make you feel better?"

"Yes, baby doll, he did. I love you."

"I love you too."

When the service was over, they greeted the other church members who carried on about how cute Jasmine and RJ were, and said if they were ever in town again that they should stop by Traveler's Rest for another service. Upon leaving, Pastor Jenkins pulled them aside.

"Thank you again for coming to our little church."

"The pleasure was all ours," Unique said, giving him a hug, "Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman."

"She certainly was. She passed away last month."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Thank you. She was called home to glory with my father. You know you and your husband remind me of them."

"Really how?"

Pastor Jenkins reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, he flipped through the pictures until he found what he was looking for and handed it to Unique.

It was an old black and white photo of a tall, handsome white man with dark hair and his arm was around a short, rather plump black woman with a partially scarred face holding a cute little baby. Ryder figured the baby was Pastor Jenkins. The couple did remind him of himself and Unique, aside from the facial scarring. Jasmine, being the curious child that she was, wanted to see the picture too, and when she looked at it she said:

"Her face is melted."

"Jazz, that's not nice." Ryder said, embarrassed by what she said.

Pastor Jenkins wasn't bothered.

"Don't worry about it. Children are honest like that."

Unique handed the picture back to him.

"It must have been hard for them in those days."

"It was but they made it work."

They talked for a while longer and promised to keep in touch and exchanged numbers. RJ was getting cranky. Unique fed him a bottle and changed his diaper. After she was done, they headed out into the parking lot to go home.

**ooo**

Once they were on the road again, Ryder thought about how his life turned out. He saw it in two parts: before he met Unique and after he met her. The latter was definitely better. He looked over at his wife who sat there humming a long to What Child is This which was playing on the radio. She yawned and stretched in her seat. Ryder knew she was worn out. A long day with the kids was always draining.

"Why don't you take a nap?"

She rubbed her hand up and down his arm.

"I thought maybe you wanted to talk. I don't want you to keep anything inside. You've been through a lot today."

He reached for her hand and held it, keeping his eyes on the road. It was snowing and he was eager to get back to Braebrook before the weather got worse.

"I've wanted to hurt a lot of people in my life."

"Like who?"

"Mom, Sonya, all our bullies, your attackers. You name it. I wanted them to pay. When I saw you in that hospital bed," his eyes teared up at the memory, "all those tubes stuck in you…"

"Shh, Ryder, sweetheart, I'm here and I'm alive."

"I know and I'm grateful and I'm glad Sonya is in prison. It's just that for a long time I had these revenge fantasies. Mom would lose all her money. Your attackers would be arrested and forced to serve in a maximum security prison. And Sonya would suffer something as painful as what she did to me. Over and over again I had these images, but they never closed my wounds only made them deeper."

"How do you feel now?"

"I feel like I have a chance to finally put it all behind me. I was moving forward but then Eleanor came back and all this crap resurfaced. I just need time, you know?"

"That makes sense."

"Now enough talking. You're exhausted. I can hear it in your voice. Close your eyes."

"But I want to make sure that –"

"No, Lovebug, I want you to rest."

Unique sighed.

"Ok, Mr. Lynn."

"Thank you, Mrs. Lynn."

Ryder turned off the radio, and he began to sing in a soft, hushed tone:

_She's got a way about her_

_I don't know what it is_

_But I know that I can't live without her_

Unique smiled and closed her eyes. This was his lullaby for her. Jasmine called it Mommy's Song.

_She's got a way of pleasin'_

_I don't know why it is_

_But there doesn't have to be a reason_

_Anyway_

It wasn't long before Unique was fast asleep. He wanted to hold her and kiss her but that would have to wait until they got home. The snowfall was heavier now and he was thankful for the new snow tires they got last week. He looked in his mirror and saw his little munchkins sleeping in the back seat. RJ clutched his Boo Bear and Jasmine was sucking her thumb, a habit that Unique was desperately trying to get her to break. He loved the peaceful silence, and the stretch of endless road before him; it let him surrender the noise in his head and as Pastor Jenkins would say, open his heart. He knew his forgiveness wouldn't happen overnight, that he would stumble and fall along the way, especially now that he found out that Sonya was his birth mother, but at least he was willing to take the journey.

**ooo**

They got home around midnight. Janet was asleep on the couch. Instead of waking her, Ryder decided to let her stay the night, because the weather was bad and he didn't want her to get into an accident. He and Unique got the children ready for bed, tucking them in and saying a prayer with each one. Finally they made it to their bedroom. Ryder helped her undress and as she was about to put on her nightgown, he stopped her.

"Leave it off."

She smiled and nodded, crawling into the bed completely nude, all curves, and soft skin. He needed that warmth from her body, nothing between them except bare skin and beating hearts. He stripped and joined her beneath the down comforter, pulling her to him, she rested her head on his chest, and he held her tight, letting his hands roam all over her body, giving gentle caresses that made her sigh in pleasure. She too, explored his body, touching, kissing, stroking his muscles and teasing his nipples with her tongue. His breath caught in his throat and his desire grew more urgent.

"Lovebug, turn around."

She did as he asked and he slid into her from behind, seeking refuge inside her, and she clenched tightly around his shaft, her needs were just as great.

He was gentle in this thrusting, soft and slow, they rocked together, loving each other as one flesh, one heart… she was his prize and treasure; her sighs, moans and gasps were better than any song he ever heard. Without her love, he would never have known how beautiful physical intimacy could be, that there was no cause for shame when two people touched each other and it felt good. For a long time, he was robbed of this.

"Baby, so close, so close," she said, taking each of his thrusts.

"Let go, just let go, I'm here with you, you're so beautiful.

And she was. A light sheen of sweat covered her dark brown skin, her hair was tousled and messy, her large breasts bobbed and heaved as she moved with him, her ample bottom, jiggled and shook, she was lost in the love making, and the magnitude of the feelings they had for one another. He wanted a picture of this moment. His hand squeezed her breasts and ran up and down her torso before slipping between her thighs, exploring her womanhood, finding that tiny pearl that would push her to oblivion. He pressed against it and she cried out as he continued to pump his narrow hips, again and again.

"Ryder!"

"Let go, come on, sweetie, let it out…" he said and then he too was shaking, emptying his seed inside her, the white cream slid down her thighs.

They fell asleep with him buried inside her and he thanked God once again for this awesome woman.

**ooo**

They put up Eleanor's Christmas tree the next day. Janet helped too; she didn't have any family in Braebrook and there was no rush for her to be anywhere, so she bustled about in her hot pink sweat suit and bare feet, cracking jokes as she hung ornaments on the little fir tree that stood proudly in the middle of the room. Ryder hovered in the doorway holding RJ while watching the others decorate the tree. Unique didn't push him to join in, and simply gave him a smile. Ryder pointed to the tree.

"It looks nice," he said, "What do you think RJ?"

"Tee!"

Everyone laughed. Janet picked up a gold angel ornament out of the cardboard box next to the tree.

"This is pretty."

Eleanor shifted in her bed.

"That belonged to my grandmother."

"Hmm, must be expensive. I know your family is Rockefeller loaded," Janet said without much thought, "Well let's put it here next to the ballerina," after she hung the ornament, she stepped back and said, "There, those gals are best friends already."

Jasmine decided that the tree needed purple lights and was opening up the package of tiny bulbs as she sat next to Eleanor on the bed, who was wrapped up in a yellow flannel robe and buried beneath an electric blanket, a white knit cap was on her bald head. The room was warmer than the others because she suffered from chills; despite the extra blankets and heat; she could never get warm. She looked weaker than usual; her smile wasn't as bright and she avoided eye contact with Ryder.

Unique took notice of all this and stayed silent; she promised herself that she would stand by Ryder and not interfere or coerce a reconciliation. She would walk beside him always, but it was his journey and it had to feel right for him. Jasmine slid off the bed and handed the opened package to Unique.

"Here, Mommy, put these on next."

Unique wasn't crazy about the purple lights for some reason, but since this wasn't her tree, she held her tongue.

"Ok, let's put them on."

"Purple is the color of royalty. And since I'm the Queen and Jasmine is the princess, I find it very appropriate," Eleanor said.

Jasmine nodded in agreement and held up her wrist, showing off her diamond bracelet.

"Yes and we're wearing our bracelets. Show them Eleanor."

Eleanor obliged and held up her wrist too, revealing her bracelet.

"They hold our powers," Jasmine said, "So not everyone can wear them. That's what makes them special."

"Oh, I see," Janet said, picking up a silver ball ornament, and dusting it off with a tissue, "Sounds like you two are quite a pair."

RJ began to fuss in Ryder's arms.

"Down."

"Alright buddy, you can get down."

RJ smiled once Ryder set him down on the floor. He toddled his way over to Eleanor's bed and reached for her.

"Up, Ellie!"

"Babycakes," Unique said, "I don't think Eleanor is up to holding you right now. Come over here with us."

Eleanor smiled down at RJ.

"It's ok, Unique. I want to hold him."

Ryder walked into the room, picked up RJ and handed him to Eleanor.

"Here you go, Mom, let us know if you get tired."

For a moment, they stared at each other, and Eleanor looked away as soon as RJ was in his arms.

"Thank you, son."

Jasmine climbed back onto the bed and Eleanor basked in the attention of her grandchildren. They snuggled against her, and she glowed. Unique and Janet draped the purple lights on the tree and put a crystal star on top of it. They plugged it in and everyone admired it. Despite her misgivings about the lights, Unique thought the tree was quite lovely.

Her mood dampened at the realization that her parents were coming that afternoon. Her mother called earlier that day and after much cajoling and coaxing, Unique agreed that they could come for an early dinner. The guilt trip Mabel Adams laid on her was a heavy one and she caved in. Much to her surprise, Ryder wasn't all that upset and even helped her hand wash their best china and silver for the occasion. Unique picked up the empty cardboard box and other trash and headed out of the room, with Janet and Ryder trailing behind her. The kids stayed with Eleanor.

"That was fun," Janet said as they descended the stairs, "Eleanor is a tough old broad."

"Yeah, she is," Ryder said, "Would you like to stay for dinner?"

Janet didn't respond at first. They entered the kitchen and Unique opened the oven to check on the roast chicken she was preparing. The smell of rosemary and garlic wafted throughout the kitchen; she took off the lid of the roasting pan, and basted the juicy bird before putting it back in the oven. Janet sat down to the table. Ryder poured everyone a cup of coffee. Unique sat beside him, taking a warm mug from him and sipped the coffee. Janet dumped cream and sugar into her mug, stirring it and watching it blend into a lighter shade of brown. She huffed out a sigh and looked at Ryder and Unique.

"I'd love to stay for dinner. But I need to get home. Besides this a day for family."

"So? You're part of our family you know," Unique said.

Janet blushed.

"Thanks, sugar, I appreciate that, but I'm gonna pass."

They sat around the kitchen table laughing and talking and after the coffee was finished, Janet went upstairs to tend to Eleanor before going home. On her way out she said that RJ was asleep in his crib and that Jasmine and Eleanor were reading fairytales. They all hugged good-bye and Janet said she would be back in the morning.

Ryder helped Unique with dinner and that eased her tension. She watched him mash the potatoes, his muscles flexing, as he pressed the silver masher into the boiled potatoes. Somehow, that simple act made her think of the night before and his urgent thrusts inside her. Only her man could make mashing potatoes look sexy, she stared at him and let her eyes drift over his well-toned body; the old gray sweatpants he wore fit perfectly over his tight behind and squeezed his strong thighs, and his red wife beater showed off his biceps. Ryder looked up and smiled.

"What?"

Unique suddenly felt like her hand had been caught in the cookie jar. She opened the fridge and took out the butter and milk.

"Nothing, why?"

"Well, you were staring at me. Are you afraid the potatoes will be lumpy? Am I doing it wrong?"

"Child, you could never do it wrong," Unique said and as soon as the words flew out of her mouth; her face burned hot.

In their twenty years together, nothing got past her husband and today was no exception. He raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"Mrs. Lynn, why do I get the feeling that you're not talking about mashing potatoes?"

"Mr. Lynn, I'm pure of thought and mind," she said avoiding his intense stare, "Now make sure to put in a little butter and milk." She slid the carton of milk and stick of butter across the counter toward him.

Ryder wasn't' buying it. He went to her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, and kissing her. Unique melted into the kiss, loving the feel of him pressed against her, his arousal was becoming apparent.

"Baby we better…" she couldn't find the words, since he was nibbling on her neck.

"You know this green night gown has been driving me crazy all day?"

Unique giggled. There was nothing sexy about her night gown, it was of the "grandma" variety with a high neck and long sleeves. She got it on sale at Wal-Mart.

"Ryder, stop playing."

He continued his assault on her neck.

"No, really, at certain angles, the way it moves, your curvy body is outlined and I know what's underneath and that makes me insane. It's like you're teasing me or something."

He pushed her against the fridge, the cold steel felt cool on her back. Both of them were so lost in each other that they didn't hear the front door open or see her parents standing in the kitchen doorway, with their mouths wide open, loaded down with packages. Her mother was appalled.

"My word!"

At the sound of Mabel's voice, Unique pushed Ryder away. Her father was less upset and more embarrassed. He tugged on her mother's arm.

"Um, let's wait for them in the living room."

"What are you doing here?" Unique said, straightening her nightgown, "It's not even 2:00 yet."

Mabel folded her arms.

"I couldn't wait to see the children, so I convinced your father to come early. I see that was a bad idea."

"Mama, why didn't you ring the doorbell?"

"We did. I guess you didn't hear us for obvious reasons. You're too old to be acting like a couple of horny teenagers."

"The door was unlocked?" Ryder asked, as he held Unique's hand to calm her down.

"Yes it was. I know this is a nice neighborhood, but you should really think about safety. What if we were intruders?" Mabel said, "I mean this isn't Mayberry."

"Janet must have forgotten to lock the door on her way out," Unique said, "Can I get you guys some coffee?"

Unique's father, Franklin Adams, attempted to smooth the situation over.

"Yes, coffee would be nice. That's quite a fine snowman you have out front."

"Uh, thanks, Franklin," Ryder said.

After her parents went into the living room, Unique buried her face in Ryder's chest and started crying.

"I can't believe this."

"We were only kissing, it's not like we were, you know."

"It's all the same to Mama. I feel like an idiot."

Ryder lifted her chin.

"We have nothing to be ashamed of. They're the ones who came early and barged in without thinking. If anything they owe us an apology. Besides there are worse things in life to be caught doing."

She kissed his cheek.

"You're right. Go ahead and start the coffee. I'll go upstairs and get the kids."

**ooo**

Unique had planned to make the house immaculate before her parents' arrival, and now with them coming early, everything shifted and they rushed to finish making dinner. The dining room was filled with rolls of wrapping paper, scotch tape, and boxes; she and Ryder had spent many hours in there wrapping gifts for family and friends; she tossed everything in the hall closet and was thankful that the tablecloth was clean. As usual, her parents were all "gussied up" as Aunt Tilly would say, dressed in their Sunday finest and smelling like the inside of their new Lincoln Town car; her mother's red dress reminded Unique of something out of the 1950's with it's full skirt and sweetheart neckline; her father's shoes shined and his suit was wrinkle free despite being in the car for so long. Unique looked like her mother, except she was a little taller and her cheeks less plump. Kids used to say her father resembled James Evans on Good Times and this always made her laugh. With no time to pick out cute outfits for them, she let the kids stay in their pajamas and she and Ryder threw on jeans and sweaters. Her mother gave them all the once over, and Unique could feel how much she disdained her family's appearance, but to her surprise, Mabel made no comment. Instead she simply sat down to the dining room table when the food was ready, and found other ways to piss Unique off.

"Do you remember Jamal Greer?" Mabel asked as she cut into her piece of chicken, taking a tiny bite and chewing slowly, her ruby lips a straight, narrow line.

Unique looked over her shoulder as she put more mashed potatoes into RJ's little Blues Clues bowl. He sat in his high chair and banged his spoon against the tray.

"More tatoes!"

"Be patient, RJ," she said and turned her attention back to Mabel.

"Who?"

"Jamal Greer," he lived over on Wilmont Avenue, near the post office."

"Oh, him, he used to throw rocks at me and call me a sissy. What about him?"

Mabel coughed into her napkin.

"Little pitchers have big ears."

Unique rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Mama, I get it. So what's this about Jamal?"

"He got married to a beautiful Nigerian girl. Lovely ceremony. His mother sent me pictures. She's in my Yoga class."

Unique rose from the table.

"I'm going to the kitchen for more napkins, does anybody need anything."

Ryder jumped up.

"Sit down, I'll get them."

"No, that's ok, it's no trouble"

"But you've hardly eaten."

Unique glanced at her plate, she had taken two bites of stuffing and a mouthful of peas, everything else remained untouched. The food was good. She just had no appetite.

"Ok."

He gave her a peck on the cheek before going to the kitchen.

"He's well trained," Franklin said, helping himself to another dinner roll, "Can he roll over and play dead too?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's a joke, lighten up."

"I will when you say something funny."

Mabel kept chatting about Jamal.

"So he and his wife live in Wisconsin. They run a bed and breakfast."

"That's nice," Unique said, not caring one way or the other.

Mabel raised her eyebrows.

"You don't sound impressed."

"Forgive me, Mama, but I find it hard to get excited about someone who tormented me as a child."

"That was so long ago."

"This chicken is delicious," Franklin said, "Nice and juicy, how often did you baste it?"

"I just played it by ear."

"Well it's good."

"Thank you."

Mabel took a small bite of stuffing.

"His sister had a crush on you."

"Who's sister?"

"Jamal's."

"Will you stop talking about someone I have no interest in discussing?"

She shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm just making conversation."

Unique shook her head.

"No, you're not, you're doing what you always do."

Jasmine tugged on Unique's arm.

"Can I have more broccoli?"

"Of course."

Unique picked up the bowl of broccoli and put a couple spoonfuls onto her plate. Ryder came back with the napkins.

"Did I miss anything?"

"Will Eleanor be joining us later?" Franklin asked.

"No, she's resting. She doesn't feel up to doing much these days," Ryder said while pouring a glass of water, "I'll let her know you asked about her."

"I'm sorry to hear she's feeling worse."

Jasmine held up her wrist.

"Grandma, Grandpa, see my secret power bracelet Eleanor bought me?" The bracelet sparkled in the sunshine coming from the dining room window.

Mabel looked at her and smiled.

"That is a very nice bracelet, but you don't call adults by their first name. That's your Grandma. Show respect," she dabbed her mouth with a napkin, giving both Unique and Ryder a disapproving glare, "What kind of children are you two raising?"

Jasmine stared down at her plate, her lips quivering.

"I'm sorry Grandma."

"Don't be sweetie, it's your parents that I'm worried about."

Ryder spoke up before Unique could go off on her mother.

"My mother asked that the kids call her by her first name. Jasmine has done nothing wrong. And the kind of children we are raising are great ones. You of all people should be able to see that."

Franklin sat back in his chair and patted his stomach.

"Mabel, don't get your panties in bunch. Things are different with this generation. You got your Ipods, internet, phones that do all sorts of crazy stuff, the rules changed. And we had Wade so late in life – "

Jasmine dropped her fork and it clattered against her plate. Her face twisted into a frown.

"Don't say that name. It's bad."

Franklin stared at her.

"Who told you it was bad?"

"That's not Mommy's name."

Unique patted her hand.

"Jazz, why don't you go on upstairs and watch TV with Eleanor? I think she's up from her nap."

"Can I take my dessert upstairs?"

Unique debated on whether or not she could trust Jasmine not to make a mess with chocolate pudding, but then she realized that she didn't care.

"Alright."

Jasmine pushed her chair away from the table, and left the dining room, her puffy ponytail bouncing behind her.

"When are you going to relax her hair? It will probably reach her waist when straight, it's a shame to waste all that good hair," Mabel said, as she buttered her dinner roll.

Unique wanted to reach across the table and choke Mabel with her pearl necklace, yet she remained civil.

"Her hair is fine the way it is."

"Humph, just the other day, I saw this little girl in the supermarket, her hair was twisted into these, I don't know what you call them, but they looked like little snakes sprouting on that poor baby's head, I wanted to smack her mama, who had her hair the same way. Can you imagine? Leaving the house looking like that on purpose? Pass the water please."

Unique handed her the glass pitcher.

"Everyone has different taste."

"But Jasmine is so pretty. Too pretty for that nest on her head."

"It's her hair and it's beautiful. You're testing me, Mama, stop it."

"I'm only looking out for her best interests. Besides you're not natural."

"I wear my hair in different ways. I'll let Jasmine decide what she wants when she's older."

"Mabel," Ryder said cutting into the conversation, "Don't insult our daughter. We know you mean well and you love her, but that's not something I will _ever_ tolerate. Both of our children are beautiful just as they are."

He didn't raise his voice or even sound angry, but he got his point across.

Mabel sighed and took a sip of water.

"I'm sorry if I offended you."

There was an awkward silence. Unique gathered the empty dishes and carried them into the kitchen. Ryder finished feeding RJ and then took him upstairs to change his diaper and put him down for his nap. Mabel helped her load the dishwasher, while her father put on a fresh pot of coffee and helped himself to a slice of lemon pound cake which he devoured at the kitchen table.

"Delicious," he said, before eating the last bite, "Taste like Tilly's."

"Glad you like it," Unique said and turned on the dishwasher, "I got the recipe from her last week."

Mabel stared out the kitchen window into the back yard.

"Are you going to plant a garden this year?"

"Probably. Ryder loves homegrown tomatoes. And I like growing cucumbers."

"Sounds nice."

They were playing that dance again. Pretending that nothing was amiss. Unique sat down to the kitchen table with her mug of coffee and listened to her father talk about the plumbing business.

"You see this time of year pipes burst a lot. I gotta make sure my men are on call 24-7."

"So, things are good?"

"Things are great. Frankly, I got more business than I can handle."

Mabel sat down next to Franklin and looped her arm through his.

"You know he's thinking of expanding."

"Yeah, that's how Mabel likes to tell it. Truth be told, she's the who is thinking of expanding," Franklin said to Unique, shaking his head, "I'm happy with how things are."

"You don't think big enough. I know another office would do wonders for you."

Franklin jerked his head in his wife's direction and said:

"She just wants a bigger house. You know those mini mansions in Lima Estates?"

"That's a nice area," Unique said, trying to sound like she cared. She sipped her coffee and grimaced – her father had made hazelnut.

Mabel leaned against Franklin, kissing his cheek.

"Better than nice."

Ryder walked into the kitchen with a fake smile. Unique knew that smile. It was the same smile he wore when she cut her hair and he pretended to like it. That was one thing she loved about being married, knowing the little things that otherwise went unnoticed by everyone else; she and Ryder had their own language and secrets. He gazed at her and his smile changed from fake to "we'll get through this, I promise" and she smiled back saying: "I know and I love you." A wordless exchange that mere mortals wouldn't understand, you had to be on that higher plane. He sat beside her and put his arm around her, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

"RJ is asleep. Jasmine fell asleep in Eleanor's room. I put her in her bedroom."

"Do you usually put RJ down for his nap, change his diaper that sort of thing?" Mabel asked as she sliced a piece of pound cake and put it on her saucer.

"We take turns," Ryder said, picking a lint ball off his sweater.

Mabel pursed her lips.

"Hmm, well, that's nice… in my day, men only brought home the bacon."

"It's good to branch out," Franklin said then he changed the subject, So Ryder, How's your students this year? Giving you any trouble?"

"They're doing well and adjusting."

"What kind of kids do you teach again?"

"Special needs children," Ryder said, and Unique could tell by the edge in his voice that he was annoyed, not because of the question, but because it was the millionth time he had answered it over the years. Though, in Franklin's defense, he wasn't a man to retain information very well.

"Ah yes. You ever thought about education consulting? The paycheck might be better."

"I'm good with what I have. Besides, I love teaching too much."

"If you were a consultant, only one of you would have to work. I never worked a day since I married your father," Mabel said, grinning at Unique, proud of her status. "I only had you, but it was worth being at home."

"I work because I want to," Unique responded, "Besides, I was at home a long time."

Franklin belched and took a gulp of coffee.

"Don't listen to your mother. She's old school."

"I stopped listening a long time ago."

"You know, Ryder, Franklin said leaning back in his chair to give room for his overstuffed belly, "It's a good thing you do, working with retarded kids like that."

Ryder gave another one of his fake smiles.

"Thank you."

Unique slid her coffee over to him.

"Papa made hazelnut."

Ryder kissed her cheek and took the mug from her. Unique wondered when her parents were leaving, but she knew it wouldn't be polite to ask. Her father pulled out a cigar from his suit pocket.

"I'm going out on the deck to smoke this, care to join me Ryder?"

"I don't smoke."

"Just keep me company. Have you got any scotch?"

Unique got up from the table.

"Yes, we have some, I'll get it for you,"

One of Ryder's co-workers gave him a bottle of scotch as a gift, not knowing he wasn't much of a drinker. Unique was glad they found somebody to drink it.

"Franklin, it's freezing outside. Must you go out there to smoke that smelly cigar?" Mabel said, scrunching up her nose, "It's such a filthy habit. Besides you'll catch cold."

"The scotch will keep me warm. I'll wear my coat don't worry. I just want a cigar, Mabel, now get off my back."

She pulled away from him, a hurt look in her eyes.

"Fine, I'm going into the living room to watch TV."

"You do that."

When she was gone, he said to Ryder:

"So how about you keep an old man company while he enjoys two of life's guilty pleasures?"

Ryder clutched his coffee mug, biting his lip and staring down at the table. Unique knew he didn't want to go. He surprised her with his answer.

"Ok"

"Now, you're talking!"

"But I'm not smoking or drinking. I'm sticking with coffee"

"No big thing. You do you. I'll go get our coats."

Unique grabbed the bottle of scotch from the cupboard along with a whisky glass and set them on the counter. Then she pulled Ryder into a hug.

"You don't have to do this. I know Papa can be draining."

He held her close, running his hands up and down her back.

"I think he wants to talk to me alone."

She nuzzled his neck, enjoying his scent of Irish Spring body wash.

"About what?"

"Us."

"Really? It's a little late for that. I already walked down the aisle."

"Sometimes you just have to get things off your chest, you know? Even if it's after the fact."

"I think he just wants to be a good ol' boy for a while and let off some steam; anyway, ever since I can remember he would always smoke a cigar after a really big meal. Mama made him do it outside; she said the smell lingered in the house and it made us seem like common folk."

"Oh well. I have some things I want to say to him too."

Unique looked up at him.

"Such as?"

"It's confidential."

"You know you're going to end up telling me, right?"

Ryder laughed and kissed her lips.

"Don't count on it, Mrs. Lynn. This is between us men folk."

"I guess bringing home the bacon has gone to your head."

"Maybe so."

"Mama is right about one thing."

"What's that?"

"It is cold outside. Be sure to bundle up."

"Yes, _dear_."

"And lose the sarcasm, Mr. Lynn, it ain't cute."

He snaked his hand under her oversized sweater and tickled her bare belly, and she laughed in his arms, he made his way up her torso, his fingers drumming against her skin and when he reached the lacy fabric of her Victoria's Secret bra, Franklin showed up moments later, and Unique quickly pushed Ryder away, her cheeks flushed and eyes dazed.

"Close call," she whispered. Her father had to have the worst timing in the history of the world.

Ryder kissed her once more.

"To be continued," he said as he left with Franklin for the pseudo-male bonding ritual in the back yard.

**ooo**

"For someone who doesn't drink, this isn't bad, Franklin said, holding up the scotch for inspection, "Balvenie 15-year Single-Barrel, isn't exactly cheap." He poured the light amber liquid into the whisky glass.

Ryder shivered beside him on the deck chair. Holding the hot mug of coffee to keep warm. His North Face coat usually worked great for the Ohio winters, but this was an especially chilly day, with an overcast sky that foretold of another snowstorm coming.

"It was a gift."

Franklin took a long sip and smacked his lips.

"Nice. I'm already getting warmed up. You sure you don't want a shot in your coffee?"

"I'm good."

"Suit yourself."

He pulled out a gold monogrammed lighter, unwrapped the cigar and lit it. The sweet aroma of tobacco soon filled the air, Ryder thought it was actually a nice scent, reminding him of afternoons with his grandfather when he would visit their estate in Connecticut. The yard was covered in a thick crust of icy snow. Somehow he and Franklin managed to clear off the deck chairs enough to sit down. He looked up at the sky and breathed deep, slowly exhaling, a white puff escaping his chapped lips.

"Thanks again, for coming out here," Franklin said as he took a drag from his cigar, "I had to clear my head."

"No problem."

"You know you two got a nice life here."

"Yeah, I know. We're really blessed."

Franklin nodded, blowing clouds of smoke into the air.

"Blessed is a good word for it."

"I remember the night Wade was born. I was working late and Mabel had to go to the hospital by herself. He was premature. Damn, we were scared, looking at our son in that incubator…" his voice trailed off and he drank some more scotch.

Ryder waited for him to continue, not sure where he was going with his story. He finished his glass of scotch and poured another.

"I had a son. That's all I know, I had a _son_."

There was silence again. Ryder fidgeted in his chair and drank his coffee. Soon snowflakes were falling. Franklin laughed and shook his fist at the sky.

"Couldn't wait for me to finish my cigar, could you?" His eyes suddenly grew sad and he said, "I painted fire trucks on his bedroom wall."

"That's not who she is," Ryder said, turning to look Franklin in the eye, "The boy you were searching for was never there to begin with."

"But that's what I knew. That's what I saw. You've been loving my child a long time, I'll give you that. Even when I couldn't."

"It wasn't hard. She's beautiful, loving and kind. She made me a better person. I've been through so much and she's right there beside me even when I don't think I can go on, she believes in me. That's who she is. That's who I love."

Franklin slumped his shoulders, shaking his head.

"A busted pipe I can figure out. Even menopause and Mabel make sense to me. But this never has."

"You broke her heart. You may as well have left her for dead for how you and Mabel treated her."

Franklin stared down into his whisky glass.

"I know."

"Why did you come back?"

"Did you know that the name Wade has been in my family for five generations? Passed down from father to son?"

Ryder gritted his teeth.

"No, I didn't."

"Tell me how is that a bad name?"

"It is when it isn't your name. You know there's more to it than that. Unique was never Wade."

"You married my boy."

"I married a fabulous woman."

Franklin puffed away on his cigar.

"We almost came to the wedding."

"Almost isn't the same as being there."

"He always did look like Mabel."

Ryder nodded and drank his coffee. There was no argument there. Unique and Mabel looked a lot alike except that Mabel's face was more severe like an old English school marm and Unique's face was warmer, kinder.

"Sometimes I think he got too much of her in him. That's what created this mess, like when I make gumbo and put in too much Old Bay, everything gets thrown off, it doesn't taste like gumbo any more."

"You're a selfish son of a bitch."

Franklin almost dropped his glass, his hands shook.

"What in hell –"

Ryder didn't let Franklin finish his "how dare you speak to me like that" speech. It wasn't worth hearing because the man was a selfish son of a bitch and it was time he knew.

"Save it. Now, you listen to me. I don't understand what it's like to be a parent to a transgender child. Not a damn clue, but I do know what it's like to have the people you need most not be there for you. You and Mabel were never there for Unique. Just because you had this vision of who she should be doesn't make who she is."

Franklin's eyes filled with tears.

"Damn it. Who is she? I look into those big eyes and I don't know who I'm looking at. I can't find my boy and I don't know this person hugging me and calling me Papa. I don't know any of it. I try. I try to know."

"You haven't tried at all. Instead of getting to know Unique, you hold on to something that was never there."

"What if Jasmine came to you and said she wanted to be a boy, told you to call her Jake, and then threw out all her dolls, how would you feel?"

"I never said I understood –"

Franklin held up his hand.

"I get that. I heard you the first time. But be straight with me. Not as my son in law, but as man to man. Tell me how would you feel. Be honest."

Ryder looked away from him, gazing out into the yard, if it was honesty he wanted he would give it to him.

"I would cry."

"And I'm a selfish son of a bitch? You're a hypocrite."

"I would cry because of the hard life she'll have. I saw the nightmare Unique went through. Things are different now, but there's still a lot of ignorance. Yes, I would miss the little girl I thought she was, but I would take her hand and never let go and be her strength when it got to be too much for her. I'd get rid of the dolls and buy matchbox cars, and I would love and protect her the best way I knew how…"

Ryder couldn't speak for a moment, and a lump formed in his throat thinking of how broken Unique was when her parents vanished from her life, he breathed in the cold air and continued:

"Look, I'm no saint or even the nicest guy all the time, I have my faults too, but I'm a good father, and love my children unconditionally, and if my little girl said she was a boy and it didn't feel right to wear a dress, I'd take the journey with her and let her be who she is."

Franklin finished his cigar and ground it out in the snow.

"You wanted to know why we came back?"

"Yes."

"No matter what that surgery did. That's still our child."

"Gee, that only took about fifteen years."

"You don't like to make things easy do you?"

"Not when my wife hurt for so long. She's cried in my arms too many times about you and Mabel, and I hurt right along with her."

A few tears ran down Franklin's cheeks, and he hung his head.

"You treat her well."

Ryder finished his coffee, setting the mug on the ground.

"Did you expect anything less?"

"No, I didn't think you'd stick around."

"Excuse me?"

"You come from a good family. You're handsome. I think you're a little peculiar, but not crazy."

"So?"

"So I thought after a while you would bail. Go with what was easier. A real woman."

"I'm with a _real woman_," Ryder said, not hiding the bitterness in his voice, "And to call Unique anything less is disgusting. I don't care if you are her father, take this as a warning, you need to watch how you talk about my wife."

"Ryder, I'm sorry."

"Were you hoping I would leave her?"

"I'm not gonna lie. I prayed you two would break up."

"Why?"

"Well, with you out of the picture, I thought we had a chance of fixing him."

Ryder let out a long sigh.

"There was nothing to fix. As for me leaving, there's not a chance in hell that I will ever leave Unique. That woman is my everything."

The snow continued to fall. Franklin nursed his drink, taking small sips, and tracing his finger along the edge of the whisky glass, lost in his thoughts. He closed his eyes.

"About a year ago, I ran into an old high school buddy of mine at the gas station. We got to talking about the usual stuff, like marriage and kids, just shooting the breeze. Then he said he heard through the grapevine that I had a son. I told him my son was dead. He got all apologetic the way people do when you mention death and he asked me what happened. I said I couldn't talk about it. I got in my car and drove off."

Ryder shifted in his chair and put his hand on Franklin's shoulder.

"Unique likes to watch the sun rise. Her favorite color is green because she says her best dreams are in green. The first time she held Jasmine and RJ she cried because she was so happy. I was bawling too. She hates walking in mud. She loves ginger snaps. She catches fireflies but always sets them free. She listens to Joan Armatrading when she's sad, and she dances in the supermarket if they're playing a song she likes. And after all we've been through, she never lost hope and always chose to see the good in people. That's who your daughter is and she's very much alive. I love her and will keep on loving her until we're six feet under. Nobody is stopping you or Mabel from loving her too."

Ryder stood up, slid open the glass door, and went inside the house, leaving Franklin alone on the deck crying.

**ooo**

Unique and her mother watched an old Bette Davis movie while her father was upstairs taking a nap in their bedroom. She wondered what he and Ryder talked about. When he came inside earlier, Franklin looked as though he had been crying. When she asked him what was wrong, he hugged her tight and babbled about fire trucks. His odd behavior worried Unique. Ryder said their conversation got heavy, but he didn't give her any more details, and Unique sensed that she shouldn't press the issue as her husband kissed her, whispering "I love you" in her ear before going upstairs to check on the kids and Eleanor. Mabel helped Franklin unbutton his coat, and her nose wrinkled at the smell of tobacco and scotch.

"Come on, old man" she said taking him by the hand and leading him upstairs, "You only get weepy when you've had too much booze. You need to sleep it off."

That was two hours ago and her father remained upstairs in a drunken slumber. Ryder and the kids were in the den watching Cars 2. Unique felt restless. The movie bored her.

"Mama, let's go for a drive."

Mabel glanced over at her.

"It' snowing."

"I've driven in the snow."

"I want to finish the movie."

"You already know what happened to baby Jane. And so do I."

"But it' so nice here in front of the fire… besides I want to be here when your father wakes up."

"Papa probably won't feel like driving back to Lima tonight. We'll fix up the den for you guys and you can stay the night."

"I hate sleeping in strange places."

Unique got up from the couch.

"How about a walk?"

"Why are you so jittery?"

"I don't know."

"Well, if a walk will calm you down I'll go. Let me tidy myself up a bit."

"We're just walking around the neighborhood."

"Nothing wrong with taking pride in how you look. Men appreciate that sort of thing."

Her mother went into the bathroom. Unique grabbed their coats from the closet. She got her compact and lipstick out of her purse and powdered her nose and touched up her lips with Ryder's favorite shade of red. He loved how full and soft her lips were and red lipstick was like an aphrodisiac for him, though he preferred her with no make-up on - that was one exception. Mabel emerged from the bathroom with blush on her cheeks and the same color lipstick as Unique. She picked up her mink coat and put it on, studying Unique's face she said:

"We're wearing the same color lipstick."

"Yes, we are."

"Hmm."

The two ventured out into the gray winter afternoon, the snow falling steadily without any signs of stopping anytime soon.

"I don't know if I'll be warm enough," Mabel said, clinging to Unique's arm as they made their way down the sidewalk, carefully avoiding any icy patches.

"Do you want to go back and change?"

"No, that's ok."

"It won't be a problem, Mama."

"I'm good. Tonight, I'll be sure to take an extra vitamin C tablet to ward off any cold."

Unique stopped walking.

"Let's go back inside."

"I told you I was fine."

"You're saying this walk will make you sick."

"I did no such thing. I always take vitamin C."

Unique said nothing and they continued down the steet, arms linked, leaning against one another with each step. Mabel admired the Christmas decorations in each yard, commenting on the homemade wreaths and the nativity scene about six houses down from the Lynn house.

"The baby Jesus' nose is missing. They should fix that."

Unique looked at the life size baby Jesus and sure enough, his nose was missing. The Smiths had put up that same nativity scene for as long as she and Ryder had lived in Braebrook.

"It's probably an accident."

"People have no respect."

"I'm sure it wasn't on purpose."

Mabel muttered something under her breath, and Unique didn't bother to ask her what she said. They walked in silence. It was really too cold for a walk, so after circling the neighborhood once; they went back to the house and settled in the kitchen with mugs of hot cider with cinnamon sticks. They sat at the table, staring out the window.

"You did a good job with dinner," Mabel said, patting down her hair, "Your chicken reminded me of mine."

"That's probably why Papa liked it."

Mabel stirred her cider with the cinnamon stick.

"Are you happy?"

"Yes, I've got a good life with Ryder and the kids."

"Besides that, are you happy with everything else? Did you make the right choices?"

Unique got up from the table and got a small bottle of cardamom out of the cupboard and sat back down. She unscrewed the top and sprinkled the spice into her cider.

"Look around you, Mama, what do you think? If I had made the wrong choices do you believe I would be in the position that I'm in?"

Mabel sipped her cider, keeping her eyes on the winter storm that raged outside.

"I see... I'm glad your happy. You know we should bake a cake."

"We have lemon pound cake and apple pie. Another cake would be too much."

"This cake will be special."

Unique raised her eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?"

"It's your wedding cake."

"My wedding was a long time ago and I had a cake. You were invited, remember? But chose not to come."

"Go get Jasmine."

"Excuse me?"

"Get your daughter and bring her in here. She needs to be a apart of this."

"Apart of what? You're not making any sense."

"Family tradition."

Before Unique could answer her mother, Jasmine walked into the kitchen holding her pink Rapunzel cup.

"Mommy, can I have some juice?"

Mabel smiled down at Jasmine.

"Would you like to help me and your mother bake a very special cake?"

"What kind?"

"It's a wedding cake. I wasn't at her wedding, so I'm giving it to her now."

Jasmine looked from Mabel to Unique, pondering for a moment, then a tiny grin appeared on her face.

"Ok. But can I lick the spoon?"

Mabel bristled at that.

"We'll see. I don't think that's very sanitary."

"What's sanitary?"

"Being clean and germ free."

Jasmine scrunched up her nose.

"Yuck. I don't like germs."

"Mama, I still don't understand why you're doing this," Unique said as she took Jasmine's cup, opened the fridge, and took out the apple juice, "What family tradition?"

"Stop asking questions and pay attention. Now, do you have an apron? I don't want to get my dress dirty."

Mabel stood there with her arms folded, tapping her foot against the white tiled floor. Unique never used an apron, but she remembered that she bought one from Braebrook Elementary to help raise money for a new roof. She found it hanging in the pantry just as crisp and clean as it was when she purchased it. It was a long, pink, floral print apron with lace trim; she chose it because it reminded her of June Cleaver. She took it off the hook and handed it to her mother.

"Here, you can wear this."

Mabel laughed when she saw it.

"I have the same apron at home."

Unique was surprised but didn't show it; she just nodded and poured the apple juice for Jasmine, who stood next to her looking up at her expectantly. Unique handed her the juice and after she took a drink she said:

"Mommy, can I get Princess Tiana? I want her to watch us bake a cake."

"Sure, thing, Jazz, I'm sure she'll like watching us."

Jasmine set her cup down on the table and went off to get her Princess Tiana doll upstairs.

Mabel began taking the ingredients out of the fridge: eggs, butter, milk etc. and putting them on the counter. Unique watched her mother move about her kitchen as if she owned it; she found it annoying.

"What if we don't have all of the ingredients?"

Mabel opened the cupboard and took out a big, red mixing bowl and measuring cups.

"In 1901, Mabel Augusta Mills married Cecil Rutherford Freeman in a little black church in Mississippi and –

"Mama, I'm not in the mood for a family history lesson."

"Well, get in the mood, cause I'm telling it anyway. Now, on the night before the wedding, her mother made the cake and discovered she didn't have any vanilla. It was the 11th hour, so she added lemon juice and a little grated orange peel to the cake recipe passed down in her family. Everybody loved the cake and she gave her daughter the recipe and told her that she needed to add a new ingredient to the recipe when her future daughter got married. And that's what we Mills women have been doing for over a hundred years. More or less, you know the rules changed here and there, sometimes the bride would add something instead of the mother or they would both add an ingredient."

"And that's what you want to do today?"

Mabel opened the carton of eggs, as she looked over her shoulder at Unique.

"Yes, that's what we're doing today. That's why my granddaughter needs to be here, to see the tradition of the women in our family be passed down."

"Where was this tradition when I needed you and Papa? Aunt Tilly's boyfriend gave me away. He said I was the most beautiful bride in the world. It would have been nice to hear that from my mother."

"I can't undo the wrong we've done. But I can try to get something right."

"I've got a lot of scars you can't see."

Mabel walked over to Unique and wrapped her arms around her. Something cracked inside of Unique and everything gushed out; she imagined it was akin to blood and water running together, the blood from the wounds and the water from her tears trying to wash it all away.

"I have mother's day cards and father's day cards all piled up in my hope chest. I pretend there's no hole in my heart, but Ryder sees it and everyday and he tries to fill it."

"He's a good man."

"He's my angel. He got me through everything. We have so much that's good in our lives and we survived together. But I needed you and Papa."

Mabel said nothing. She held her close to her heart, and Unique cried into her neck.

"This is who I am, Mama."

"I know, baby, I know, and you are _beautiful_."

Unique sobbed in her mother's arms. There was a mixture of anger, sadness, and relief in her letting go. Mabel stroked her hair and urged her to cry.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"Remember who I am," Unique said, wiping her eyes, "Don't ever forget."

Mabel touched her daughter's face, so like her own.

"You were there all along. I chose not to see it. You were always a girl. You never let go of my lace handkerchiefs."

Unique sniffed and broke the embrace. She went to the table and got a few napkins to wipe her eyes.

"Huh?"

"Lace handkerchiefs. When you were Jasmine's age, you liked to play with my handkerchiefs and pretend they were wedding veils."

"A female is more than pink and lace."

"You're right. She's nurturing, kind, gentle and firm; she can cut a man if needed, and still be sweet as pie. You got that Mills woman blood in you, I never let my heart believe it."

"We lost a lot of years."

Mabel nodded and sat down.

"Yes we have."

Unique reached for her mother's hand.

"I'm still angry at you and Papa. Don't expect this to be a trip into the sunset and happily ever after."

Mabel squeezed her hand.

"I just said you were a Mills woman. Our fires don't burn out easily. I'm not looking for a happy ending, just maybe a new beginning."

"I think I can try to work with that."

"Thank you."

"One other thing."

"Yes?"

"Do you think you can work on your judgmental, holier than thou disposition?" Unique decided to lay everything on the line; her mother was in dire need of an attitude adjustment.

Mabel rolled her eyes.

"I'll learn to think before I speak."

"Well, Mama, there's hope for you yet."

Jasmine came into the kitchen holding her Princess Tiana doll.

"I had to change her dress. I didn't want the fancy one to get dirty."

Mabel picked her up and kissed her cheeks.

"Alright then. Let's get started."

**ooo**

The ingredient that Unique and her mother decided to add was two teaspoons of rosewater. Jasmine poured the fragrant liquid into the creamy yellow batter.

"When I grow up to be a bride, then you and me will make this cake together?" She asked Unique.

"Yep. Now be a good girl and hand me that cup of milk."

Jasmine did as she was told. Mabel was busy chopping the nuts, she was efficient with the Cutco knife, and her small hands were quick. The pink apron looked good on her. She looked down at her granddaugher and said:

"We'll make the butter cream frosting while it's baking."

"Grandma, I hope it doesn't take a long time."

"Being impatient won't make it bake any faster."

Jasmine pushed a stool up to the counter and sat down.

"We should put in gummy bears."

Unique and her mother looked at each other and laughed.

"Not this time sweetie," Unique said as she turned off the mixer to add the chopped nuts Mabel handed to her, "But when you get married you can add them."

"Ok."

The cake turned out much better than Unique thought it would. It was a three tiered tower wrapped in a cloud of rich butter cream frosting that was so sweet and decadent, Unique knew she gained twenty pounds just from one tiny taste. They admired it for a few minutes until Mabel said:

"Unique, come on we have to go upstairs and get ready."

"Ready for what?"

"I just got an idea. You're getting married again."

"Mama, are you feeling alright?"

"Better than I've felt in a long time."

**ooo**

Unique put on an ivory silk dress she wore at an awards banquet for elementary education teachers. There was no way she was going to drag her wedding dress out. She put on her diamond earrings and gold bracelet; her hair was curled and hung loosely at her shoulders. Her mother got Jasmine ready, dressing in her a red velvet dress and French braiding her curly hair. RJ sat on the bed and watched everyone, holding Boo Bear to his chest and laughing. Eleanor was weak, but she managed to go downstairs and sit in the living room where the impromptu ceremony would take place. Ryder and her father were getting ready in RJ's room. Since there was no preacher, they decided to simply recite their vows to each other in the presence of their parents and children; and this time Franklin would give his daughter away.

Unique stared at herself in the mirror, primping and fussing over her appearance. Jasmine bounced over to her looking like a living doll, her little girl was too gorgeous for her own good.

"You look pretty, Mommy," she said taking her hand, "Are we going now?"

"Not until Grandpa says so."

"Are you ready to be my flower girl?"

"Yes," she said, holding up the basket of fake flower petals they made out of pink and purple tissue paper.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"You ladies, ready? Ryder is downstairs." Franklin said.

Mabel picked up RJ and opened the door.

"Yes, tell him to start the music, and take your grandson to Eleanor," she said as she handed him the baby.

Franklin looked at Unique.

"You're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen. I'm honored to walk you down the aisle."

Unique was overwhelmed by his words. Tears shined in her eyes, but they didn't quite spill over.

"Thank you, Papa. I love you."

"I love you too."

When he was gone, Mabel gave her a hug.

"Before I go downstairs, I want to give you something old."

She then slid an antique diamond and ruby ring onto Unique's finger.

"This was Grandma Clara's ring. I want you to have it."

Unique hugged and kissed her mother.

"Thank you so much, Mama, I love you."

The music began. When Unique heard the first notes of Des'ree's Kissing You, her heart jumped a little in her chest. She was transported back to that day fifteen years ago when she and Ryder got married the first time in their church garden.

Mabel walked out of the room first, then she was followed by Jasmine who was giddy to be the flower girl, tossing the fake petals on the stairs with each step she took. Her father appeared in the doorway.

"So, are you ready to do this again?"

She nodded, and this time the tears rolled down her cheeks, making a wet trail through her blush.

"Yes, I'm ready."

He smiled and linked his arm through hers. They walked slowly down the stairs, and her father began to cry, Unique leaned into him, and he supported her with his strong arm. When they got to the living room, Ryder was standing in front of the fireplace, and his eyes lit up when he saw Unique walk in on the arm of her father. Then it happened. Just like it did at their first wedding, everyone drifted away, and it was just her and Ryder, existing in that time and space, and nothing touched them because they floated together in the moment; she saw tears run down his cheeks as they got closer to him. He was so handsome in his black suit, his blue eyes shining in the firelight. God gave her this awesome man, this angel to love, and she would forever be grateful for him and their family. Her feet didn't feel like they were moving. Franklin gave her to Ryder and whispered something in his ear. Ryder nodded and smiled giving Franklin a hug. The music stopped and Ryder spoke first, taking her hands into his.

"Since this was so last minute, I couldn't find my vows, but I think it's more important to say what's in our hearts. You look as beautiful as you did on our first date back in high school, when we saw The Avengers and walked in the park, holding hands and talking about our dreams. I knew when we had our first kiss that I was going to marry you."

Unique was shocked. She never knew that. It must have shown on her face because Ryder said:

"Oh, I kept that a secret. I couldn't freak you out or anything."

The others laughed and Unique giggled.

"But I knew you were going to be my wife. All the bullies, hatred, fights and pain were worth it, because you are the most incredible, selfless, loving, woman I know. Not to mention gorgeous. I tell people all the time how lucky I am that you said yes and agreed to be my wife. Nobody has ever believed in me the way you have or loved me like you do. You took every possible journey with me no matter how horrible it was, you stood by me, and baby, I love you so very much, I'm not an easy person to love, I know that, and you love me anyway. You're a wonderful mother to Jasmine and RJ; and just for the record, for everyone here, our kids are awesome because of this woman. I'd never take all the credit. So Lovebug, here's to a hundred more years together; I'm not leaving your side unless God calls me home and even then, I don't think I could ever leave you completely. I love you, Unique forever and always."

Ryder broke down at the end and they held each other. She understood how overwhelmed he was because she felt the same way. They stood there for a long time, whispering and hugging one another, their bodies trembling, until Ryder calmed down and they kissed away each other's tears. Unique looked into his eyes and said what was in her heart too.

"Ryder Lynn. I don't know how I can top that but I'll try because Unique has to be fabulous. Anyway, I don't know where to begin. When the world was telling me that I wasn't woman, you told them otherwise, and to you, after we fell in love, I was always a woman, before and after the changes. But that's just a tiny part of how wonderful you are. You saw through my bravado and got to the heart of who I was. You saw the ugly stuff and you stuck around. You're so compassionate, loving and caring not only to me, but also to everyone that has the privilege of knowing you and being a part of your life. I call you my angel all the time because that's what you are, an angel, even if you don't see it. I feel loved and beautiful in your presence; you've protected me like no one else has. I'm honored to be your wife and mother of your children, because as far as I'm concerned, they don't come any better than you Ryder. And you are a great father to RJ and Jasmine. Oh, and I'm just putting this out there: you're hot!"

Everyone laughed and Ryder shook his head and grinned, leaning forward to plant a kiss on her lips before she continued.

"Despite what you think, you are easy to love, Ryder, don't ever sell yourself short. Instead of hundred more years, let's make it a thousand, cause Mr. Lynn, I ain't leaving your side till I get called home too. I love you with all that I am and the way I see it we have no beginning or end just a bond that will never break. Never doubt that I am yours forever."

They kissed again and everyone clapped, and suddenly, a cloud of iridescent bubbles floated over their heads. Jasmine had turned on her toy bubble machine as Mabel instructed her to do. Natalie Cole's "This Will Be" began to play in the background. Her parents hugged and kissed them both, while Jasmine and RJ clung to their mother and father, hugging them too. Eleanor sat on the couch, taking it all in, wrapped up in her electric blanket to ward off the cold. Tears glistened in her dark eyes and smile spread across her thin, pale face. Unique and Ryder joined her on the couch and each gave her a hug.

"That was so beautiful," she said, "Thank you for including me."

"I want cake!" Jasmine yelled out before disappearing into the dining room where Mabel set up everything for the festivities. The cake sat in the center of the table surrounded by burning white candles and bottles of sparkling cider.

Unique and Ryder cut the cake together and fed it to each other while her parents snapped pictures. Ryder loved the rosewater flavor and probably ate more cake than he should have. Eleanor ate a small slice in the living room with Jasmine sitting beside her chatting away about why the cake was so special. Franklin opened up the bottles of sparkling cider and everyone made toasts to the couple, celebrating the renewal of their vows; Ryder and Unique just basked in all the happiness that surrounded them, cherishing the love they had for one another and the love for their children.

**ooo**

"We made it," Ryder whispered that night as they in lay bed, coming down from an orgasmic high after an intense lovemaking session that had Unique screaming louder than usual as Ryder pummeled into her, filling her up with his seed. It was so sweet and tender and good that Unique never wanted it to end. Now they were in the afterglow and the house was quiet, she laid her head on his chest.

"Yes, we made it."

He ran his fingers through her soft hair and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

**End Notes:** Thanks for reading and reviewing. I had Unique to get sexual reassignment surgery in this story, but I wanted to avoid going into too many details because that's for another story. I tried to make Eleanor complex and change in her old age. Alice Walker based the character Mister in the Color Purple on her grandfather, however when she knew him, he wasn't a terrible man and had changed. She only heard those stories about him. So thinking of that situation, I thought of Eleanor and all of the awful mistakes she made. As for forgiveness, I don't know it's just a theme I wanted to explore. The next chapter should be the epilogue.


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